Will Your Lover Bail on You?

See honey? This couldn't have happened if I didn't bail?

I'm Watching ESPN, drinking a six pack of O’Douls while listening to a Carpenter’s and James Taylor Mashup Remix by the Dust Brothers, I was in an odd state of mind. Sure, “odd” is sort of my default setting, just ask those who have met me in person. On the “Tube” I see this lovely gal get struck by a baseball, while her guy leaps to safety. Yes, I’m talking about Bo, the Bailer. More importantly, I’m talking about what his act really means.

Moments of great stress or emotion are typically the most telling moments of how deep a person’s feelings run for their significant other. Would you take a bullet for your lover; your girlfriend; the Meter Reader from your local Gas Company? Perhaps you would. It’s quite an easy thing to say, but when a foul baseball comes screaming at you, will you take the bullet for you partner (or at least attempt to catch the damn thing), or will you jump to safety? How can we really know what that answer is?

This is a classic scenario for assessing what a person will do and what they’re capable of by watching what they do and setting aside what they say. Actions tell truth, words can lie. We know this! “But how do I know if my person will take a baseball in the back, or even a bullet for me? How do I know they won’t bail on me when I need them the most?” It’s a good question. Those of us in relationships ask this at some point. Hell, we ask this question of our friends and family; our inner circle.

Well, there’s no easy way to know. Sure, you could arrange for someone to rob you and your significant other by gun point and see how your partner reacts. You could start a fight and see if your lover, friend or relative has your back or not… Neither of those is practical, however, if you’re nutty enough those scenarios can provide a very telling answer to that burning question: Is this person going to bail on ME.

I can only tell you what I know and what I practice. I look at what people do, not what they say. If a person shows me, not tells me, that they have my best interests in mind then I know that person adds value to my life; they’re not going to bail on me. You may have your own way to do this and that’s cool. To each their own; but now that I think about it, picking a fight with a group of people to see if that person has your back sounds like loads more fun!

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Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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  1. I think actions definitely speak louder than words. People can tell you whatever they want but it comes down to the actual moment. A good indicator for me is if the man walks on the street side of the sidewalk. It's old fashioned but I find the men who do this are the ones who won't bail & have your back should a bar fight erupt suddenly.

  2. I think next valentine's day I'll be planning a little faux-heist…and we'll just see what kind of man I got (assuming I have one around that time of year)…i figure it's a great present….see if he gets it right and protects me…the rewards will be…mindblowing and endless…and if he doesn't…well than happy valentine's day to my next boyfriend 😉

  3. You made a good point, but human nature is to protect OURSELVES. If we don't, who will? I know that's the question you are asking…but, haven't we been alone longer than we've been with someone?

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