Ask the Urban Dater: Why Did My Ex Tell Me He Still Loves Me?
Oh goodness me! It's been a while since I've been in the WYSIWYG editor at the Urban Dater! I figure a fine way to get back into the loop here is to field one of the piling questions from one of our readers.
Michelle C. asks:
Why did my ex boyfriend tell me he still loved me and he knows i have a boyfriend?
Michelle my belle. Why do we men do such things? Any number of reasons exist! It could be that your ex, who we'll refer to as “Turd Ferguson” here on out, could be feeling a little blue in the crotch and needs some sweet action from a vagina that was once familiar.
However, we must also consider the context of what Mr. Ferguson said. Did he say he still loved you, or did he say that he was in love with you? That makes a difference. Also, not knowing how you and the Turd broke up clouds my judgment a bit as well. Either way, you're still in his thoughts. He may still hold a candle for you, or perhaps he feels the need to share this love with you, perhaps out of guilt.
Whether or not you have a boyfriend is somewhat irrelevant in my opinion. We guys don't care if there's another cock in the mix, you see. Either said cock is competition, or a willing participant in a “Devil's Three Way.” In any case, it's not a big deal. Another scenario is that Turd F. beats the snot out of your man and he gives you the make up sex you've been quietly yearning. Or, your current BF kicks the living tar out of your EX and you end up having worked up “violence never solves anything sex” with either your current beau or with your ex. Or both. It depends on how loose your sexual tendencies are.
Is Turd Fergie worth reaching out to, to find out? Perhaps. Perhaps not. That's up to you. Do you feel enough time has passed to where you can talk to him. The fact is that he's got you in mind and it's up to you to make the call on how to proceed.
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Last year, my ex flirted with me brazenly when he saw me at a show with a guy who he thought was a tool and obviously not worth my time. At that time, it was all about the heat still between us. Later we acted on it, but no, we didn't get back together.
Later that year, when my ex saw me with another man he actually felt threatened by, he spent the night talking in my ear in an impassioned voice how there were things I believed about him that simply weren't true, those same reasons I used to end things with him a year and a half ago now. He talked about my parents, about some of those great memories we had together, and I listened….but I pushed it aside until I was ready to deal with it.
I realized then, finally, with him, it wasn't a cock competition. He's still waiting now, just as he was tenderly there for me all through the days I was the sickest in my life not very long ago. The question is, can we trust each other enough to start over again, and do we really want to? We're figuring that out step by step.
Wow girl. That's some heavy thinking you're doing there. We should talk about that further, if you ever feel like it. I'm intrigued by this.
sometimes you crack me up! 'turd ferguson' I love it. hahahaha
You are a very good relationship advisor, and you add a bit of humor to make it even better, love it-keep it up
Aw shucks! You make me feel like a natural woman! =) I appreciate the kind words!!
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