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My First Threesome

My FIrst Threesome
My FIrst Threesome
(Photo by Branimir Kvartuc)

It was almost 10pm. I was in my skivvies, watching something on Netflix, eating pickles from a jar and scratching my crotch. I know, it's hot. Right? I get a call. It's from a gal that I'm seeing, Julie. She asks me what I'm up to, I tell her that I'm just working on some projects, trying to solve the world's problems and generally being a badass. She cuts me off, obviously not interested in what I was actually doing and suggests that I come over to hang out for a bit, she also confides she's had a bit to drink… Drunk call? 10pm? I know what this is…

It's what we call a “Booty Call!” Oh joy!

Julie and I hadn't slept together yet, although we had fooled around some. She was careful not to give in to temptation and I respected that… Until this night.

I threw on some non-shitty clothes, brushed my teeth and drank a few shots of Scope and a breath check on the local alley cat didn't result in getting scratched in the face. Yes!

I hopped in my car and turned a thirty-five minute drive into twenty (I was determined, you see). I knock on Julie's door and she opens it. Her eyes are relaxed, the gal is definitely sloshed. I enter her studio and we sit, share a drink and some small talk. She hops up on me and we start to kiss, as she begins unbuttoning my shirt. She starts to bite me and I'm all over it. We start to get “heavy” on the couch…

As things continue to progress, I suggest a move to Julie's bed and she nods and says “carry me.” No problem. I lift her up and she locks her legs around me and plants deep kiss on me. I was absolutely loving this. As I carry her over to her bed, I see something out of the corner of my eye… I take a mental note of the Chihuahua that I spied. “That Chihuahua's gonna be a problem later… I should probably do something about that.” But I let it go.

I lay Julie down and she commands me to take off her clothes and “don't be nice about it” so I obliged and after more foreplay and rolling around, we're both very naked. I get on top of her and we “get going.” After a couple of minutes something… happens. I hear what sounds like a cat drinking water. You know the slurping sound, right? I know you do. Well that sound was quickly followed by a sensation. What sensation? Remember that spiffy foreshadowing from the previous paragraph? Yeah, Julie's Chihuahua was licking my asshole. Let me repeat. A Chihuahua was licking my asshole. It took a couple of seconds to  process what was happening before I reacted. No, did it feel good? Look, it didn't feel awful. Okay? But I did reach around right quick to dislodge the fucking thing. Fortunately for me he didn't “bite” anything, but man, that little fucker wouldn't come out without a fight before I threw him from the bed. Julie wasn't quite so understanding and didn't want to lose “the mood.” So I got back to doing what I was doing and sure enough, that butthole-licker came right back. I took him and placed him in the bathroom and boy did that little shit howl over that.

Now, you're probably wondering if I was able to… “finish” after that debacle. No. I wasn't. Julie wasn't super understanding about the situation either. I ended up staying over for the night, before leaving in the morning. I didn't hear from Julie again…

I did end up dating another gal with a Chihuahua and I made doubly sure that dog wasn't prone to the same set of manners as the other pup. That was a real fear. When questioned by the new gal I was seeing “Have you ever had a Chihuahua do something dirty to you?” I couldn't answer that question with a straight face.

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