Longing. Pain. Desire. They are all tricky emotions. What you want and what you need. What is wrong and what is right. The Past and the Present. If you’re stuck between two people, could you truly be in love with both?
What was the Timeline?
If you met both of them at the same time, I believe it gets a lot trickier. You can’t “measure” what your heart is feeling distinctly at one time window. There will be overlap. The first person could steal a lot of things but the last person can finish what wasn’t recovered.
Is one an Ex and a Rebound?
Did you have the intention of getting over someone else by dating this person? Can you see this person outside of serving you as just Transitional Man. Also, have you truly gotten over your Ex. If your Ex carries only pesky painful memories, then he might just be that- a memory and not a relevant and real person in your life.
Is one Lust?
Are you craving this person because well, it’s been a long time since you had a hot touch. Maybe they just offer something so novel from what you’ve ever experienced. Maybe something forbidden. Or are you desiring a person because you know they are someone you can’t have.
Is one Comfortable?
Is one person the safer choice. What you want and what you need are rarely the same thing. Are you with this person because it IS right or because you THINK it’s right. Is it also potentially out of habit?
Why the Hesitation?
Are they two sides of the same coin? Someone begets passion while another radiates warmth. Possibly, you just want neither person. And the hesitation stems from a deep desire to hesitate and not decide. On the other hand, hesitation may be good, because you need struggle before you reach true happiness. When you're struggling, you're trying.
There is a Tipping Point…
Peoples' hearts change. They wear out as well. I think there can be an overlap and that at a moment, you can love two people at the same time. But not as deeply and fully when you’ve decided to pour your heart into one person. And if you’re in that limbo, I’d just ride it through. Feel for both fully until it’s evident who you truly love.
Sarah Suhaimi practices 명음 by day and the art of dark chocolate bar swindling by night. She is currently working closely with a local Pittsburgh non-profit that serves sex-trafficked victims, Living in Liberty, as a volunteer and grant proposal writer. She founded the Southeast Asian Student Alliance (SEASA) at her university, and, as well, the "Offer Islam Campaign." Her works vary from prose to poetry to articles. Her published works include, ‘The Home of an Immigrant’s Daughter’ in the Art Catalogue for the 2012 Dublin Biennial, Dublin, Ireland and ‘Hidden Beauty Reveals Itself (Intellect Vs Instinct)’ in the Art Catalogue for the 2011 Florence Biennale VIII, Florence, Italy.