It was my senior year in high school. I had a burning crush on my co-worker in my part-time job, and we even went out together a few times.
However, life threw a curveball and I was friend-zoned. Better yet, it included a triangle drama with my best friend. I was heartbroken and didn't feel like myself. I used to spend hours dwelling on my problems.
A few months later, I'd forgotten her. I'm dating a new person. Someone I never would have thought of before. I'm happier than ever.
Based on these experiences and more, I'm here to share five essentials a man should do after a heartbreak. It's a tough spot, I know, but you can get over it. Better yet, you can turn it to your advantage. Let's begin.
1. Cut off the contact immediately
The biggest mistake men do after heartbreak is to stay in contact. Whether it's hanging out together, or casually chatting on social media.
However, you need to cut off the contact immediately if you want to deal with your heartbreak. Neglecting this has cost me years of frustration and worry about another person. This is not an exaggeration, so I'm not saying this lightly.
If you stay in touch, your mind doesn't have time to heal. Even the slightest reminder of her will strengthen your emotional bond with her. Thus, you're not letting your mind heal.
Cutting off all the contact means all of it. Mute her social media, stop spending time with her, anything. If she wonders why tell her that you need some space. She should understand it.
2. Emphasize other areas of your life
After a heartbreak, she has left a void inside of your life. At this point, it's important to replace that void with other cool things. After a heartbreak, you should emphasize other areas of your life.
I like to divide my life into four main categories:
• Social life and dating
• Health and fitness
• Happiness and mental health
Advancing other areas of your life will create new positive results that replace your heartbreak. Work on your fitness and advance your career. Above all, get together with your friends and take care of your happiness.
This will create a lifestyle that helps you to [stop thinking about her LINK: https://www.maxedout20s.com/cant-stop-thinking-about-her/]. The key is to build a pleasant lifestyle that doesn't require a significant other in it. Ironically, that's when you'll have the most success in relationships.
3. Develop healthy beliefs about dating
I've had lots of negative beliefs about dating after breaking up. Getting rid of them was essential before I could get back there. After a heartbreak, you may have negative beliefs about dating.
If she cheated on you, you may find it hard to trust and fall in love again. If you develop too much emotion, you may be afraid to do it again. When you're still missing her, rejections can feel extra bad. Basically, negative experiences are limiting you.
At this point, you must understand that there are many amazing people to date. You can and you will develop a great relationship eventually. Luckily, these beliefs start to fix them naturally when you cut off the contact.
You'll start to realize that she wasn't that special. When going out there again, use your previous experiences as lessons, but don't let them limit you.
4. Use it as a motivation
This one has been a game-changer for me many times. The pattern has been the same. I get heartbroken, feel terrible, decide to change my life, and do it.
Often, people motivate themselves by thinking about a pleasurable outcome. It works pretty well.
However, when your motivation comes from a painful present, you're more eager to take action. This is because you're already in pain.
You can use this principle after heartbreak to motivate yourself. Motivate yourself to work on your looks, career, social skills, charisma, and eventually find a new partner. Better than the previous one.
I can say from my experiences that it's an exciting journey. Learning something new and getting a little better every day. Day by day, you can reshape yourself into something that people admire.
Heartbreaks are like rites of passage for men. They help you to face your problems and come out stronger.
5. Get back to dating (Eventually)
They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. That's why it's good to get back at dating as soon as you're ready. However, there are some things to consider first.
You need to make sure that the previous girl isn't haunting your mind. Can you face rejection with ease? Are you [comfortable with being single LINK: https://theurbandater.com/opinion/how-to-enjoy-valentines-day-if-youre-single.php/] and non-needy?
These are important questions because she may be hurting your inner game and confidence. A good rule of thumb is that your life should be awesome, even when you're single. If this is not the case, focus on yourself first. Follow the previous tips, and get back to dating when you're ready.
There you have it. Five essentials that every man should do after a heartbreak. I've tested these in my life, so I believe you can benefit from them too. Keep pushing, there are great things to come. With this said, I wish you an amazing day!
Veikko Arvonen is a blogger and author with a passion for self-development. In his blog Maxed Out 20s, he shares how you can become more confident, respected, attractive, and happier. Visit his blog to learn more and get your free ebook!
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