“You must remember this..A kiss is still a kiss..A sigh is just a sigh..The fundamental things apply..As time goes by” –Frank Sinatra
I’ve been seeing signs that the metrosexual revolution’s over, guys. According to the women and guys I know, it appears as though the fad is passing to a degree with the rise of what some on social networks have dubbed the “Menaissance.” I actually saw a YouTube presentation detailing the downfall of the former and the rise of the latter. But, what are we morphing into now? Or, better yet, what SHOULD we guys morph into in the 21st Century?
To understand where we’re going, I think you have to look at where the metrosexual craze and its benefits or failures have been. As I see it, a metrosexual guy took pride in doing three things well: fashion, healthy lifestyles, and by virtue of the first two, being more refined dating prospects for women. While that was great for a while, apparently the biggest criticisms I’ve seen of the movement was that it took away some of the more masculine things women liked about guys in the process. Debates could rage on forever about whether that’s true or not, but to a degree, that isn’t a bad thing. Guys needed refining in some of our Neanderthal ways. But how can we bring back a little of that without going too far into Tim Allen territory?
The first two parts of the metrosexual craze, fashion and health, I see no reason to change. Guys have always needed help with fashion issues and going back to a T-shirt and jeans full time is just not going to provide many dating favors. Living healthy lifestyles including exercise and perhaps learning to cook are good evolutionary tools anyone can use when done in moderation. Combining looking good with being fit and providing the sensuality of a good meal for your date I don’t think could be misconstrued as a bad thing in any dating circles.
But what needs fixing if the metrosexual’s going the way of the dinosaur?
The first thing I think guys need to get back in touch with is our inner ability to be self-reliant. We’ve become too reliant on technology and accepted the ease of just asking for help with things we’ve done well for years previously. Fixing cars, appliances, and being able to camp out without the aid of Wal-Mart’s modern conveniences have all taken a header as such. I think Patti Stanger once said guys need to feel like hunters and gatherers from time to time, it’s in our blood somehow. Well, then we need to get back in touch with that. I think one of my own post-divorce goals is going to be to learn how to camp without modern tools as much as possible. I’ve owned two homes so I’ve gotten my feet wet in the fixing things areas, cars aside.
The second, and likely biggest, thing I think that needs fixing is the combining of all these things: fashion, healthy lifestyle, and being self-reliant with what I would call an evolved way of looking at relationships, replacing sexuality with more sensuality. To a degree, it’s been there below the surface for years and not only Barry White’s been preaching it as men have used it, or in my view abused it, for a long time. Taking time to appreciate the little things about women goes a long way, in my opinion, both in and out of the bedroom. Never taking your mind off her eyes rather than keeping them on her perfect behind early on. Considering it a privilege just to get a taste of her lips, much less the feel of her bed sheets. Remembering that the neck, ears, and shoulders need love too and not just when you’re looking to score. Keeping in mind that a kiss IS just a kiss and we shouldn’t be expecting it to automatically lead to a bedroom journey, taking joy in the sighs of great make outs alone. I think in the age of Jesse James, Tiger Woods, and Ben Roethlisberger it would behoove us as man to reawaken sensual thinking to lead us to fulfilling relationships with women.
Of course, this isn’t something that needs to be adhered to all the time. Our Neanderthal tendencies to treat women like objects can, and I believe SHOULD, rear its head when appropriate and invited from our significant others. But for us to truly evolve, man needs to take the best of both worlds with him into the 21st Century from both the Sinatras of the past and the Brad Pitt’s of the present. But that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.