The guy I’m dating is being challenged, practically crushed by the world you could say. In the last 2 months, he’s been in two major car accidents, had a leg surgery and been slapped with a delinquency notice from the I.R.S. He owes thousands of dollars, is in physical pain and uncomfortably forced to buy a new car (especially painful because he love, love, loved his old one!).
With fun-filled days like these I’d be hitting Timmy Nolan’s Pub in Toluca. Not for this bad-ass guy, no way. It became routine, on Friday he’d call me up and fill me in with whatever meteor had fallen in to his lap. This continued throughout January and February, when finally he vented to me.
February 12, two days before Valentines, two glasses of twinkly champagne in to our couch date, he released his former nonchalant approach to the continuing series of events and stated, “I think I’m done. I’m over with this shit”.
Finally, Mr. Strength had come really, really close to asking for help. Thank goodness, I thought, for I was beginning to feel pretty gangly and inadequate around him for being so moderate-tempered. Screw those kinds of people! Sometimes I just need a good healthy unraveling of character you know? A little neuroses to go with my bubbly, thank you very much.
What is it about men that make them think if they ask questions, it means they are big, fat dumbo-faces? Yes, I do call people names! I’m a teacher, what do you expect? Now, we all remember the smart-alec teacher who lied to us and said, “Now children, there are no stupid questions, just stupid children” (oops, didn’t yours say that, too?)
Anyway, it’s ingrained early on that when we look towards another, it’s a sign of weakness. Whether by educators, peers, family, friends, society, or whatever else seeps in to our mindset on a minute-by-minute basis–this is the message. Admit a need, admit a fault.
How screwed up is this, though? I feel great when someone asks what I think. That means they trust me with the potential answer. For a brief moment, all the world stops and listens, and just once, I get the power to make this huge decision, to answer and give back, or to make something up so I don’t feel like the dumb one. Whatever I choose, I feel pretty darn awesome for existing. And men want to take this away from us! Selfish, downright selfish. I shouldn’t just zero in on them, but…hey, this is a blog about dating and men, whatd’ya want from me?
It comes down to this: when he’s at his worst, I’m at my best. Thanks babe, looks like I’ll be doin’ the ego strut because of you. Truly romantic.