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Men, Be the "Carrot" That Women Chase After.

It's a simple principle really: Be a catch and surely you'll be caught.  What I mean is that women seek men who are sought out by others.   Duh!  Right?  It's a simple truth that people feel good about acquiring things that they know other people will want.  The same is true of women and the men they want.  Allow me to explain…As men, we should already know that women want a man that makes them feel secure and safe.  That's a given, I would think, for those who have any amount of success in the realm of dating and relationships.

However, there's something else that I realized the other day listening to a couple women talk at lunch.  It's something I kind of knew already but never burned it to memory.  The men that women really want are men that are wanted by other women. It's no secret that men and women want to find someone that is the proverbial “catch.”  With women this is especially evident, I feel.  The times that I've felt that women been most interested in me is when I was already in a relationship or if there was other women showing interest in me…

I never really thought much about that until now.  Guys, just having other women interested in you and showing interest in you ups your desirability by several points.  Why is that, though?

Women, like I said earlier, want a catch.  They want to know that they're getting someone that is high quality.  One way a man demonstrates his quality is by how much he is wanted and adored by other women.  Many times, a desired and chased man is a man who also presents a challenge as well.  A man with options is a man who can take his time to decide; a man like this is confident, or at least he should be.  A man like this intrigues and attracts women.

On the flip side of the coin, women don't want a guy that couldn't find a date if he emptied his 401k and shat rainbows as party favors (excuse the analogy).  No woman wants to have a guy because, well, he doesn't have any other options.  Why would a woman want someone like that?

I have a friend who's dealt with this situation to a degree. His woman has argued with him over the fact that he's not dated any “attractive” women and because of that she feels like she's ugly because she's with him… I get what she's saying, I don't really agree with it either, my friend has dated a number of hotties, but I digress.  The point is that because my buddy's girlfriend perceives that he couldn't land an attractive woman that she is somehow devalued because of it.  Like I said, it's odd, but this is how some women are wired.

I'd say that many women outgrow this behavior at some point, but I've seen more and more women chase down the chased man… It's an interesting phenomenon to observe, really.

With this knowledge in hand go out be that carrot that the women chase, fellas.

Author profile

Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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