4 Steps to Becoming a Confident Flirt

The content contained within this article was heavily borrowed, without permission, from Fran Greene and her book The Flirting Bible. She's gracious enough to let us keep this article up, for your entertainment and education. If you like this article, then I highly recommend you support Fran Greene and her awesome work. You can purchase a copy of The Flirting Bible here: Buy Now.

Step #1: Look Your Best

When you look good, you feel good. When you look great, you feel great. Here are some simple tips that can help you look stunning:

  • Fix your posture! Stand up straight with your shoulders back and your head held high. Don’t look like a statue, but pay attention to how you carry yourself.
  • Find glasses, if you wear them, that compliment your face. Avoid wearing sunglasses when flirting, so your buddy can see your eyes.
  • Make sure you are well-rested and well-groomed.

Tips for the well groomed guy

Tips for the well groomed girl

  • Shave or trim all facial hair.
  • Wear appropriate & clean foot gear.
  • Smell good. A clean smell is a major turn on.
  • Look like you tried to make a good impression
  • Have manicured nails whenever possible
  • Have your hair look gorgeous.
  • Dress for the occasion.
  • Make up as an enhancer, not a mask.
  • Smell good but don’t over-do the perfume.

Step #2: Practice Confidence

Feeling confident and acting it are very different. Self-esteem is how you feel inside; self-confidence is how you present yourself to the world.

Practice in a mirror, or even better, practice in front of others. Role-play how you would act if you owned the room. By doing this, you become aware of which behaviors exude confidence. Try these confident behaviors:

  • Flirty Handshake
  • Good Posture
  • Good eye contact
  • Genuine smile
  • Good Listening
  • Enthusiasm
  • Open body language
  • Poise
  • Charm
  • Warmth

Step #3: Demonstrate the Dynamic Duo: Chutzpah and Charm

Chutzpah often describes someone nervy and bold who isn’t afraid to take risks. A dose of chutzpah gives you the confidence and permission to make the first move, start a conversation, or break out of your comfort zone. Charm combines charisma, warmth and authenticity. Display charm, and you will draw people towards you.

To be charming, do the following:

  • Look your best.
  • Accept compliments gracefully.
  • Remember people’s names.
  • Give your flirting partner your undivided attention.
  • Be empathetic.
  • Dish out compliments freely and honestly.

The chemical reaction of chutzpah and charm transforms a shy, timid, withdrawn person into a confident, natural flirt. Consider this winning combination your secret flirting weapon. And remember that the more you use it, the better your flirting repertoire will be.

Step #4: Create Your Flirting Energy

Flirting is less about what you say and more about the energy you create with your flirting interest. Playful attitude, intense eye contact, curiosity, and undivided attention will create stimulating and exciting flirting energy.

To do this, focus on the other person and do whatever you can to make him/her feel special. Block out the rest of the world to establish a bond between you two. This tempting confidence will not only boost your confidence, but it will make your flirting interests yours before you know it.

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