As a man, it can be frustrating trying to determine what women actually look for in a guy. The media; magazines, TV sitcoms, TV commercials and movies will tell you that women are attracted to men wearing a particular type of cologne, shirt or shoes. When cars are advertised to men, there is usually a beautiful woman in the commercial who is impressed and seems to love the guy for his car.
Understandably, guys will start to wonder, do women judge a man by his car? So, it is it true? As a man, are you judged by the car you drive? If you drive a nice car, will women overlook pretty much everything else about you and choose you because of your car?
It is only natural that when a woman first meets a guy and finds herself feeling attraction for him, she will want to know everything about him. As she tries to work out what type of guy he is, a woman may analyze anything and everything about him to come to her conclusion; his likes and dislikes, his manners, his social intelligence, his job and even his car. However, having a nice car isn't the answer to success with women. Women aren't shallow and won't say, “Wow, I want to marry you and stay by your side for life because you have a nice car!” A woman's decision to fall in love with a guy and want to stay with him runs a lot deeper than that. If you want women to naturally like you, feel attraction for you and want to be your lover or girlfriend, you have to be what they refer to as a real man.
What is a Real Man?
A real man is a guy with confidence in himself, who he is and where he is going in life. He is loving and thoughtful, but also assertive and strong (mentally and emotionally). He has purpose in life and is always reaching higher and higher to achieve his true potential as a man, while also giving love, time and attention to the important people in his life. He doesn't hide away from life behind a fear of failure, rejection or competition from other men. He stands up and goes after what he wants in life.
Being a real man is not about being the guy with the most money, the best job, the biggest muscles or the most expensive car. There's nothing wrong with aspiring to be financially independent or drive a nice car, but if you want women to truly love you for you and others to truly respect you as a man, there has to be more to you than just a “car.” Women are just as attracted to men who have the potential to succeed in life, as they are to those who are already successful. In other words, you don't have to be driving an expensive car to be impressive to women; you just have to be striving to be the best man you can be. That, in itself, is more impressive than being shallow and thinking that you'll win a woman's heart with a material object, such as a car. Her attraction, respect and love will be for who you are as a man, not the four-wheel object you drive around town.
Guys With Nice Cars, But No Women
Have you ever noticed that many guys who save up all their money (or get a big bank loan) to buy a nice car, don't automatically have success with women? You may have even noticed that they remain single, or are able to find themselves a woman (usually not very attractive) who will happily go along with his insecure need to show off to her and buy expensive things.
While it's true that many women do like and appreciate nice cars, it doesn't mean that they will overlook the more important areas that he may be lacking as a man: Confidence, social intelligence and masculinity. If all there is to a guy is a nice car, the woman will usually get very bored very quickly. However, if a guy has a nice car and is also the type of guy that women refer to as a real man, then she won't be in a rush to ever leave his side. She will know that the minute she steps away, another woman will rush in to take her place.
A Question of Insecurity
Guys all over the world ask all sorts of insecure questions related to women's attraction for men. Some common ones include:
- Do women judge a man by his car?
- Will women reject me because I’m not rich?
- Do I have to have big muscles to attract women?
- Do women prefer good looking guys?
- Do women only like tall men?
- What kind of clothes do women like on men?
If you've been asking similar, insecure questions lately, then it may be time to pause and consider the reasons behind why you've been thinking that way. Can you relate to any of the following behaviors?
Feeling insecure around attractive women: The fact is, women are attracted to the strength in men, not the weakness. If a guy is insecure, he will naturally behave in a nervous and tense way when talking to women, especially if it is a woman that he feels attracted to. This will turn her off and she will reject him or show her disinterest. He may then begin to ask himself additional insecure questions such as, “Do I need to have a nice car to impress women?” or “Do women only like rich guys?” or “Do I need to be tall, dark and handsome to attract women?” and so on.
Running out of thing to say when talking to women: After the initial details of name, location and occupation/study choices are exchanges, many guys simply run out of things to talk to with a woman. When a guy is unable keep a conversation going and keep it interesting when talking to a woman, she will quickly lose interest and will rarely try to help him through the situation. She doesn't want to give him a “free pass” to be with her, even though he doesn't have the confidence and social skills to talk to her. When he notices her losing interest, he will usually begin behaving in a nervous way, which will turn her off even more. A guy like this might be a great guy, but he will miss out the chance to really connect with with women, not because he doesn't have a nice car, but because he can't keep a conversation going.
Trying too hard: Instead of being confident, easy-going and going with the flow when talking with a woman they've just met, some guys become too serious and overwhelming for the woman. In a desperate, hurried attempt to get a girl to like him during a conversation, a guy might come across as trying too hard. He becomes hung up on getting a result like a phone number, kiss or sex and he stops having fun and being himself. If a guy is too serious, he won't make the woman feel relaxed, so she'll be unable to truly open up to the situation.
What Are Your Best Qualities?
While it's important that you improve any weaknesses about yourself, such as a lack of confidence or conversation skills when talking to women, you should also focus on the great things about you. Since women are mostly attracted to a guy's confidence, you should always looks for more and more reasons as to why you should feel confident. For instance, maybe you're a great guy who is loyal to his friends and family. Maybe you have a lot of purpose in life and are reaching for your true potential as a man. You might be great at sports or a certain academic field of study.
Whatever your best qualities are, be sure to focus on them and feel proud of yourself, while you also working on improving your weaker areas. As mentioned earlier in the article, women are just as attracted to men who have the potential to succeed in life, as they are to those who are already successful. You don't have to be driving a flashy car to get the girl, but you do need to be on your way to bigger and better things in life.
Dan Bacon is the founder of The Modern Man, a company which has helped 1,000s of men achieve success with women. He's appeared on TV, radio and magazines and has held sold out seminars on the subject of achieving success with women in the modern world.