Over drinks the other day, a friend mentioned that she would not waiver on her dating requirements. They were, in her opinion, rather fair and generous. She simply wanted someone who was as tall as her (she’s a leggy blonde towering over folks at 6’2), has his own car, and is available (read: completely unmarried). However, upon further pressing, she admitted that she’d be willing to remove an inch from her height requirement if, say, the guy happened to make $50,000 more than her. In short, she’d trade 1 inch for $50,000.
Trading off one requirement for another is something we automatically do whether we like to admit to it or not. How many times have we heard that we should consider dating someone who isn’t necessarily what we’re looking for because it’ll open up so many more possibilities? Sure, we’re all willing to open up to those possibilities – but it won’t come free. Something else is going to have to make up for that silly goatee or his weird fishing obsession. After all, how can you feel like you’ve struck relationship gold when you feel like you’re taking home the booby prize?
The trade off scale, though, can only tip so far. There’s always a limit to your tradeoff before you feel like you’ve compromised way too much and you’re getting nothing in return. That’s when we enter dealbreaker territory (sorry vertically-challenged guys; raking in mountains of cash will only get you so far).
Not sure where that line is or if you’re getting precariously close to it? Well, here’s a cheat sheet for you:
Of course, this is by no means the end all be all of tradeoffs and dealbreakers. I’m sure a lot of you would argue that some of the items are categorized incorrectly or that the dealbreaker list isn’t long enough. The fact of the matter is that we should all jot down what we’re willing to trade off and what isn’t going to cut it. Once you get that list down, you’ll waste less time on bad dates and dead-end relationships.