While endless reams of advice have been written about getting a first date, precious little has been written about getting the second one. If you’re tired of finishing every first date back at square one, here are five tips that can turn things around.
Don’t Interview Her
Too many men treat the first date like a job interview. Women are turned off by an onslaught of boring questions like, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” There’s nothing wrong with asking some qualifiers throughout the night, but it’s important to get to know each other organically.
Show Your Interest
Timid guys tend to play the role of the aloof cowboy on a first date so as not to get rejected. A woman who is used to being hit on constantly can find a drop of this attitude attractive, but any more than that will just serve to confuse her at best or irritate her at worst. If you are interested, act like it. If she clearly isn’t feeling it, that’s ok; you saved yourself some time.
Short and Sweet
If this is your first date with a woman you don’t really know, you’re probably better off keeping things short and easily escapable. You may realize halfway through the first date that you don’t want a second date after all. Schedule a date for drinks at happy hour, a nighttime walk downtown, or something similar. This gives you the chance to talk and doesn’t trap you in a long evening with someone you don’t know.
Discussing Your Success (Or Lack Thereof)
Men without success and without any tangible ambitions find it difficult in the dating world. It’s not because women are gold diggers, but because they are naturally attracted to success and drive. If you have a dead end job, mention it fleetingly while emphasizing where it is you really want to go in life. Conversely, be careful when discussing your success. An insufferable ego can erase the benefits of a good career.
There’s nothing a woman can intuit more quickly than when her date isn’t paying attention to her. Put your cell phone away, stop staring off into space, and stop using her conversation time to think of what you’re going to say next. The more you listen, the easier you’ll find it to smoothly interact with her. If she finds interacting with you interesting, there’s little reason why she won’t want to go out with you a second time.