However, for many people using these internet dating sites is a disappointment. Many of their messages to other people on the site are not returned, and they just don't seem to be all that ‘lucky' at dating online. For some people, it can mean months of considerable effort to meet someone, but with very little to show for it.
In this article, I'm going to offer you five tips that may help improve your chances of meeting that special someone online. I offer no guarantees, of course, but the following strategies should at least give you some ideas for improvement, and should provide a noticeable improvement in your dating success.
Strategy 1: Be interesting
If someone is looking through profiles on a dating site, including yours, how are you going to ‘stand out' from the crowd? Well, consider this: how does anyone stand out in a real-world social situation? The people who attract attention at parties or in social situations usually do so because they are interesting, funny, engaging and have something unique to say. They become the ‘centre of attention'.
This is what you must strive for online. Do this by ensuring your profile photo and text express how interesting and unique you really are. The aim is to catch someone's attention, spark their interest in wanting to know more about you.
A catchy headline and a dash of humor helps. But the essence of it is, you have to represent yourself in a unique way – what is it about you that someone else might find interesting? Do you have a hobby or special interest?
Think about your unique view of the world, and try to express that in your profile. Doing so will make a big difference.
Strategy 2: Be genuinely interested in others
I mention this because your first message to someone is crucial. If you want a reply from them, a random and bland message like ‘hi, how r u?' is not going to work. This kind of message is lazy and boring. I suggest you truly read the other person's profile, and make a unique comment about it. You might notice the other person, for instance, likes Italian food. Maybe use that as a part of that first message. Or maybe a compliment – women, particularly, like genuine compliments – but stay away from bland comments like, ‘I like your hair'. Rather see what is unique to them (‘the jade ear-rings in your profile photo are amazing!'). You get the idea. People are attracted to others who are genuinely interested in them. So express genuine interest!
Strategy 3: Persist
It's very easy to give up on internet dating after a few weeks, particularly if your expectations have been high. The harsh reality is that it can take months before you meet someone remotely special. And it can be quite a few real-world dates with people you've met online, before something ‘clicks' with another person. It's easy to get dis-heartened (I've been there!). But if you persist and refine your online dating skills, you have a much higher chance of success. Particularly if you retain a positive mental attitude to the whole process.
Strategy 4: Have an interesting life
There's more to life than online dating and meeting ‘the one'. Try not to put your life on hold while you devote all your spare time to online dating. It's important to have a balanced life, and see dating as a component of a wider lifestyle. Don't forget you can still meet people the old-fashioned way – in the real world. If you'd like to meet new people, consider clubs, societies and other events where people mingle. Having a range of interests ensures you don't become addicted to online dating, and that you are putting your whole life ‘on hold' until you meet someone special.
Strategy 5: Presentation is everything
Let's face it, the dating game is a market. And it's a competitive market. This is the harsh reality of online dating, so you have to, in some ways, ‘market' yourself. This simply means thinking about presentation, as you would for an important job interview. Consider the photos you post to a dating site – are they the best pictures of you? Do they present you in your best light? Likewise your profile text – does it read well, with correct spelling etc? As well as being interesting (Strategy 1, above) you need to be polished. By that I mean the opposite of lazy and careless. For instance if your online dating profile has an out-of-focus photo of you, and your profile text is full of errors and is non-sensical … other people are not going to be that interested. Because why should they care about you, if you don't care about your presentation? They will find other people online who DO present well.
In summary, the above strategies should help you win at the online dating game. No guarantees, but this common sense advice should assist you to achieve more expressions of interests from others, and ensure that you're likely to succeed where previously you've not done so well.