Ask the Urban Dater: What Does it Mean if a Guy Gives You His Number? Does it Matter?

Well here’s another question posed to the Urban Dater recently.

@lildevilmama asks:
What does it mean if a guy gives you his number? Does it mean he’s not interested? Does it matter?

A solid question, lil’ mama and yeah, it does matter!

In the approach game, if a guy is interested in a girl, he should approach her open a conversation and close by saying his goodbyes and hopefully get a number.  That’s the general, if over simplified, way that interaction should break down.  That the guy gave you HIS number does mean that he’s interested but, in my opinion, he’s lacking the confidence to really ask you out.  I suppose he may truly be not interested, but in either case you should NOT call that number, no matter how good looking the guy is or how many days have passed.

You see, I feel that if there’s something you want in life, you make an effort.  Anything worth having is worth making an effort for… Sometimes people forget that.  Firstly do you not want someone who actually makes an effort to attain the things that they want; desire out of life?  I know I do.  Part of it is being goal oriented, part of it is just taking the drivers seat in life.  Secondly, aren’t YOU worth the effort?  Yeah, you are worth the effort.  A woman should be pursued! That’s what women really want!  She should feel wanted and a man needs to understand this and make an effort.

In short, no, do not call this guy.  If he can’t be bothered to ask you out; you certainly can’t be bothered to contact him.  He’s not worth the time or the effort after all.

Until next time, ladies, don’t be givin’ no time to chicken heads!

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Alex is the founder, creative director and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs his own boutique marketing agency in Orange County, Ca: DigiSavvy. Among his treasured pursuits are bike rides with his girlfriend (don't be perverted, now!), hiking, watching the Portland Trailblazers and the LA Angels. Follow Alex: Twitter | LinkedIn


  1. Missy says

    When a guy gives you his number it's because he KNOWS that you like him so he knows you WILL call, there is no reason for him to ask you for your number because he will get it once you call him.

  2. Aaron says

    What about this though.

    I'm a guy, and where I work a lot of good looking women come in. We are not permitted to get someone's number while working or contact them outside of work and if we get caught doing so will most likely be fired. So, today a good looking girl came in and – although I have gotten many number outside of work and do have the confidence – I gave her my number and told her to let me know if she ever wants to hang out. See if she contacts me, I am not jeaprodizing my job, and it is a little more passive and works better in the work environment. It puts the ball in her court. I think you over generalized in your advice here. There are plenty of situations where a confident guy may give you his number with intention to persue you. Like me today, I don't want to lose my job, so I took a chance & gave her my number. I say, just shoot him a text n see if he calls.

    • gracely says

      A guy from work just gave me his number, but he doesn’t work for the hospital as a direct employee, he works with an insurance agent marketting insurance. So, i dont think his job will be at stake if he requested my number. However, I offered him my number when he gave me his, but he told me it’s better I call, that way he’ll have my number. I’m not sure if it’s because there was another guy there eavesdropping or if something is wrong somewhere. Hmmm! even though I like the guy, I still have some dignity to preserve, so I’m not sure I should contact him. Maybe, i shouldn’t

  3. annette says

    I have had this delivery guy delivering my packages for years, I know we are attracted to each other but he would never ask me out or even ask me for my number. We always use to bump into each other on the streets and we talk as he did his thing, so for awhile weeks or even a months would go by and we wouldn’t see each other, so one day I had bumped into him in the streets while he was making his deliveries and told me he had a package for me if I was going to be home, I told him I was going to be working, he then decided to give me # to text him if I was going to be home. Call me crazy but I wanted to believe he was trying to use this as an excuse to give me his #. I didn’t text him because like I said I was going to be working. It didn’t make sense to me now to text him, I really like this guy and I was thinking of texting him just to see if he would make a moves afterwards. What do you advice me to do… If he doesn’t text me to talk (now that he has my #) I just won’t text him again and I’ll know where I stand.

  4. Alex says

    I hate the fact everyone wants to treat dating like a game. If someone likes you enough to give you your number and you are interested in them fucking shoot them a text. I mean seriously its like next to no effort.

    Alex can suck a dick. Don’t listen to him.

    • Beautiful says

      But in my situation, this guy at my workplace flirts with me…says hi to me…says bye …finally asked me out to dinner after months…but it didnt happen…then i went to him and asked him a few weeks later when was he going to take me out to eat…he said “whenever just call me”…i said well i dont have your number…then he gave me his number and says that he thought that i was accustomed to the fast life…i asked him why…he wouldnt tell me. Even though i knew exactly why… Then he told me to call his phone so that he would have my number…then i had text him later that night, but he never texted back….i never text him again…next day he didnt say anything to me …i didnt say shit to him either..what the hell is this about … just through me off with not saying shit to me

      • Sally says

        Ha! Know that feeling, have them do that to me too, cut contact after talking briefly, suddenly they text less and less/stop altogether. I just assume someone more suitable comes along(online dating atm) but i have no idea!


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