Ask the Urban Dater: What Does it Mean if a Guy Gives You His Number? Does it Matter?

Well here’s another question posed to the Urban Dater recently.

@lildevilmama asks:
What does it mean if a guy gives you his number? Does it mean he’s not interested? Does it matter?

A solid question, lil’ mama and yeah, it does matter!

In the approach game, if a guy is interested in a girl, he should approach her open a conversation and close by saying his goodbyes and hopefully get a number.  That’s the general, if over simplified, way that interaction should break down.  That the guy gave you HIS number does mean that he’s interested but, in my opinion, he’s lacking the confidence to really ask you out.  I suppose he may truly be not interested, but in either case you should NOT call that number, no matter how good looking the guy is or how many days have passed.

You see, I feel that if there’s something you want in life, you make an effort.  Anything worth having is worth making an effort for… Sometimes people forget that.  Firstly do you not want someone who actually makes an effort to attain the things that they want; desire out of life?  I know I do.  Part of it is being goal oriented, part of it is just taking the drivers seat in life.  Secondly, aren’t YOU worth the effort?  Yeah, you are worth the effort.  A woman should be pursued! That’s what women really want!  She should feel wanted and a man needs to understand this and make an effort.

In short, no, do not call this guy.  If he can’t be bothered to ask you out; you certainly can’t be bothered to contact him.  He’s not worth the time or the effort after all.

Until next time, ladies, don’t be givin’ no time to chicken heads!

yannibmbr

Alex is the founder, creative director and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs his own boutique marketing agency in Orange County, Ca: DigiSavvy. Among his treasured pursuits are bike rides with his girlfriend (don't be perverted, now!), hiking, watching the Portland Trailblazers and the LA Angels. Follow Alex: Twitter | LinkedIn

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Comments

  1. When a guy gives you his number it's because he KNOWS that you like him so he knows you WILL call, there is no reason for him to ask you for your number because he will get it once you call him.

  2. What about this though.

    I'm a guy, and where I work a lot of good looking women come in. We are not permitted to get someone's number while working or contact them outside of work and if we get caught doing so will most likely be fired. So, today a good looking girl came in and – although I have gotten many number outside of work and do have the confidence – I gave her my number and told her to let me know if she ever wants to hang out. See if she contacts me, I am not jeaprodizing my job, and it is a little more passive and works better in the work environment. It puts the ball in her court. I think you over generalized in your advice here. There are plenty of situations where a confident guy may give you his number with intention to persue you. Like me today, I don't want to lose my job, so I took a chance & gave her my number. I say, just shoot him a text n see if he calls.

    • A guy from work just gave me his number, but he doesn’t work for the hospital as a direct employee, he works with an insurance agent marketting insurance. So, i dont think his job will be at stake if he requested my number. However, I offered him my number when he gave me his, but he told me it’s better I call, that way he’ll have my number. I’m not sure if it’s because there was another guy there eavesdropping or if something is wrong somewhere. Hmmm! even though I like the guy, I still have some dignity to preserve, so I’m not sure I should contact him. Maybe, i shouldn’t

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  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by bellizzima, the Urban Dater and jackfrombkln, jackfrombkln. jackfrombkln said: RT @theurbandater: Ask the Urban Dater: What Does it Mean if a Guy Gives You His Number? Does it Matter? http://bit.ly/dnY5Lm #Dating #p … [...]

  2. [...] that we have an account at Form­spring, where we have fielded a ques­tion or three in our “Ask the Urban Dater” posts. It’s been a while since we have <ahem> checked our Form­spring account. So [...]

  3. [...] What Does it Mean if a Guy Gives You His Number ?, by Alex Vasquez - This is a common search that still brings people to the site after two years. This question was asked by the Lovely ‘Lil Devil Mama,’ who still owes me cupcakes! [...]

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