What is the Difference Between BDSM and Abuse?

BDSM, chris hall, 50 shades of grey, difference between kink and abuse, is kink abusive, is bdsm abusive, how to BDSM, BDSM 101, literate pervert, the urban dater

First of all, while I come not to praise Fifty Shades of Grey, neither do I come to bury it. The bashing and dissecting of its prose style and its depictions of D/s relationships have already been done, sometimes to excess. Whatever its flaws might be, if the Fifty Shades makes you feel a nice, sexy glow in your nether regions, that's fine. Embrace the … [Read more...]

4 Signs That Your Nice Guy is Actually an Asshole

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When it comes to dating, I’m a bit of a masochist. I would never admit to anyone that I like dating assholes, but somehow that’s what I’ve often ended up with. I seem to have an innate ability to repel decent guys while simultaneously bringing the biggest jerks into my intimate distance. I don’t do it on purpose. It’s an almost autonomic response, if such … [Read more...]

How to Talk Dirty to Your Man

by Jason Devaun - https://www.flickr.com/photos/34316967@N04/

I've talked about talking dirty and how to go about it in the past. I haven't really covered how guys like dirty talk, too. It's not all that surprising. Men and women are, after all, sexual beings. The one thing I think a lot of folks, or at least some of the fellas I know, seem to think that dirty talk is a specific-use-case weapon, purely … [Read more...]

The Aftermath of a Long Distance Fling

mardi gras, new orleans, NOLA, dating in new orleans, long distance fling, the urban dater

I recently had the privilege and pain of experiencing a weekend fling. This is not to be confused with a one-night stand, of which I have had many in my lifetime. No, a fling carries with it all of the underpinnings that tie together a real relationship but leaves you with only frayed ends when it's over. Here's how it starts: you meet someone. You're … [Read more...]

50 Shades of Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

50 shades of grey, fifty shades of grey, review of fifty shades of grey, review of 50 shades of grey, the urban dater, bastard keith, betty mars

If you follow the Urban Dater on Twitter, you already know that I went to see Fifty Shades of Grey this last weekend (after downing three drinks in quick succession at the nearby Applebee's, naturally). The dear, dashing Bastard Keith did the same, and after much conversation between the two of us, we wanted to bring a hilariously informal discussion … [Read more...]

How to Talk to Attractive Strangers

thinking man sitting under tree

The butterflies...those twisted evil butterflies. It was those blasted butterflies in my stomach that stopped me getting what I wanted yet again! Sounds stupid, doesn’t it? But we’ve all been there. How many pretty girls have we let prance out of our lives forever because we were too nervous to say something? In the heat of the moment, we dream up … [Read more...]

We’re Live Tweeting 50 Shades of Grey… Drunk! Aw Yisss!

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Our fearless Managing Editor, Betty Mars, is Live Tweeting #50ShadesOfGrey right this very moment! Hopefully theater staff don't make moves to shut her down and let's also hope that no lady-boners are harmed during the live tweeting of this film! So join in the fun! Twitter Stream #50shadesofgrey Tweets … [Read more...]

6 Tips to Make Her Valentine’s Day Perfect

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Cards, a dozen roses, jewelry, chocolate, gourmet dinners--these are all things that men are generally told they need to shell out for their significant others on Valentine’s Day...but do women really expect that? A new survey, released by international online dating site AnastasiaDate, revealed some good information about Americans’ attitudes and … [Read more...]

the Urban Dater Seeks Contributors!

the urban dater, writing gigs, sex column, writing about sex, writing about dating, dating blogs, best dating blogs, betty mars,

Hi Urban Daters! As you know, we're about a month and a half into the new year, and we've been long teasing what's to come for the Urban Dater. We've been working on big things (including an e-book that we're soon to announce!), and we broke our highest hits ever last month--in fact, our readership has more than doubled since this time last year. We also … [Read more...]

Moving On From “Forever”

breaking up, break ups, moving on, moving on after a break up, when someone is your forever, can you move on after heartbreak,

When George Clooney met Amal Alamuddin, a big bang must have happened. This was the woman that he must’ve been waiting for amidst the string of beautiful women that he never seemed to ever truly commit to. Amal was probably unaware of his ill-fated quest while busy living her life somewhere else in the world. She was busy being intelligent and she was busy … [Read more...]