You probably like porn. If so, you’re not alone; so many people love them some porn! Some people say porn kills love, our friends at Ashley Madison say otherwise of course.
Experts agree that being open minded about porn can be a healthy way to explore your sexuality, improve sexual expression, and maybe even make you a better lover. A recent study published in the journal Sexual Medicine says that forty minutes of porn twice a week may boost your sex drive.
While all porn is not created equal, there are a number of benefits to watching the on-screen action that focuses on both parties’ pleasure. Sex is not a one-sided activity, and learning how to please your partner through the voyeuristic act of watching some ethical porn can be an enjoyable education.
Wait, what’s ethical porn?
Ethical porn is centered around showcasing respect for the actors, diversity, and real people engaging in real pleasure. This doesn’t mean that it’s vanilla; it just means that the porn doesn’t merely seek to present women as objects and focuses on showcasing healthy sexual relationships. Feminist porn is also, surprisingly to some, a field of porn that has become more popular of late. Sex pro-feminists see pornography as a medium for women to promote and reclaim their sexuality in a field where that it is often discarded or treated as an afterthought.
Now that we know what we’re looking for, there are quite a few benefits of watching porn:
- Learn new positions
There are some positions in porn that are solely for the camera’s benefit, but you can get serious positional inspiration from porn. Can’t lift your partner of the ground and throw them against a wall? Look for other inspiration, include props like chairs or pillows to keep things interesting.
- Incorporate porn into foreplay
If your partner is into it, watching porn with your partner can be a great way to get things started. Seeing and hearing others having sex stimulates the body physically and mentally. Don’t spend all of your time staring at the screen! Take a look at your partner to see how they’re reacting, ask them if there’s anything that is inspiring them, and make a mental note to try them later.
Watching porn together is an easy and private way to dabble in voyeurism without ever leaving the privacy of your own home.
Whatever you do, just don’t compare their body or technique with what was happening in the video—this is the fastest way to kill the mood and cause bigger problems.
- Discover and explore kinks
Porn can help us get a better understanding of things that we might like to try. Whether it’s being tied up, a threesome, or some other fantasy, consider your foray into porn research into what turns you on. The more you watch, the more you can think about your personal boundaries and get a better understanding of where you fall on the adventurous sex spectrum.
- Even laughably bad porn can boost your love life
Experts say laughter relieves stress, and masturbation is said to do the same—which is what the majority of porn-watchers end up doing. Especially considering that 68% of married women (according to Redbook) and 72% of married men (according to Playboy) solo masturbate regularly.
There are some movies that were made with the sole intention of making their audience laugh. You can’t say that parodies like Ten Inch Ninja Turtles, Inrearendance Day, or Ass Ventura take themselves 100% seriously. The goal here is to get the best of both worlds: laugh maybe gets a bit weird, and enjoy the stress relief of watching the on-screen sex acts.
Watching these parodies as a couple can make your own sex life a little funnier as you integrate some choice quotes into your bedroom routine. Sex is meant to be light, so see this as an opportunity to incorporate some humor into the act
- Become more open minded overall
Whether you’re watching porn alone or with your partner, it can lead to more honest conversations about sex and a more open mind.
You may also find yourself more open to certain sexual experiences that you haven’t considered before or more tolerant and understanding of people who like preferences outside of your comfort zone.
Finding inspiration for talking is difficult. Asking your friends doesn’t typically yield top advice. You’re better off going to a forum where dirty talk is the “word of the day,” and Ashley Madison’s forums are a great source for this.
So get out there and start exploring. We think this is homework you’ll actually want to do.
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