We know that when people find a partner on our site,  Ashley Madison, they want to make sure that their sex game is on point.

Porn isn’t quite the same as real sex since in the privacy of your own bedroom, you don’t always need to be concerned with camera angles,  but experts who have sex for a living certainly know what they’re doing. Although porn may be fantasy, we can still take away tips and ideas that we can use between the sheets—especially when we’re looking to wow someone new.

Here are a few great tips to help you improve your bedroom techniques:

Blow their mind

A YouTube search for “how to give the best blowjob” returns over 64,600 results. Obviously, blowjobs are popular, and knowing how to do them right is a concern for many people.

Give a blowjob like a porn star:

  • Start slow with kisses and licks.
  • Use your hands! Create multiple sensations by giving him a handjob as you focus on the tip with your mouth. The more sensations you give him at once, the closer to heaven he’ll be.
  • Spit, spit, spit—the wetter the better. Penises don’t self-lubricate, and the more you spit, the better it’s going to feel—for both of you.

Not just tips for him

Pleasing your lady is part of the fun, and you want to make sure you do it right!

To go down on a woman well:

Tease the entire area with your tongue before you get right in there and then focus the attention on the clitoris with repetitive movements, but mix it up!

Again, don’t be afraid to use your hands. With a good mix of licking and teasing and masturbating, her eyes will be sure to roll into the back of her head in pleasure.

Just have fun with it and get into it as much as you can. Maintain eye contact. The more you enjoy going down on your partner, the more they’re going to enjoy it.

Remember: Communication is key! You’ll want to ask your partner what they like. Many adults already know what works for them, so check in and ask for guidance.

Make it last

One of the biggest reasons that porn is unrealistic is due to editing. Scenes aren’t finished in one continuous shot, and more often than not, the man ejaculating is the first shot they film which then gets edited onto the end.

Another thing to keep in mind is that most real-world sex doesn’t last as long, with the average session actually only lasting six minutes. If you want to extend your pleasure and last longer in bed, though, there are a few things you can do.

  • Strengthen PC muscles
    Both men and women have pelvic muscles they can exercise in different ways also referred as the pubococcygeus muscles (PC muscles). Men and women can contract these muscles at any time in order to build up a stronger pelvic floor.

    Men can practice contracting these muscles while they’re peeing. By contracting and trying to stop your pee midstream, or trying to lift your erect penis, you’re building up muscles that will make your erection last longer and make your orgasms stronger.
  • Try edging
    Edging is a practice of getting as close to climax (coming) as possible and then stopping beforehand—the goal is to create a stronger orgasm.

    Once your PC muscles have been thoroughly worked out, you should be able to test them out during sex. Men can flex their PC muscles during penetration for a surprising sensation while inside your partner, and you can also use them to hold off on orgasming.

    If your PC muscles aren’t quite there yet, stop whatever you’re doing as you feel the orgasm build and switch positions or focus on your partner while it subsides slightly. Doing this a few times can result in a longer erection, a happier partner, and a more intense orgasm once you do let yourself go to the point of no return.
  • Focus on foreplay
    Sex isn’t just about penetration. In fact, according to Dr. NerdLove, 70% of women cannot orgasm through penetration alone. So instead of worrying about how long you can keep your erection, focus on other things you can do to give your partner an orgasm.

Remember that sex is like telling a good story: it has a beginning, middle, and end. While the peak may come toward the latter half of the story, you can extend out the first half with teasing, touching, and buildup. How much time it takes is really only determined by how much time you have.  

Talk the talk

  • Adult film actress Nina Hartley told the Huffington Post, “Dirty talk is not telling your partner what you think he wants to hear, it’s telling your partner using language what your partner needs to know… tone of voice means everything.”
    • Asking for things by saying something like “Mmm yes, nibble on my earlobes,” can be a super sexy way to communicate while turning your partner on.
    • Let them know how it feels. When something is working for you, tell them, they’ll be sure to remember! Simple phrases like “Wow,” “Oh God,” or “Yes, right there,” are encouraging and will make your partner feel like a sex god/goddess.
  • Stop with the overkill
    All women are different, but the kind of moaning and orgasms we see from female porn stars are regularly over the top. While guys have a physically visual orgasm, it can sometimes be hard to tell when a woman is having a genuine orgasm. That’s why pornstars announce their enjoyment with such theatrics.

    Sometimes, however, heavy breathing is just as effective—and can be sexier—in declaring your pleasure over those high-pitched screams. There’s nothing wrong with being vocal though—if that comes naturally to you, then by all means, let loose!
  • Let it happen organically
    Saying “talk dirty to me” makes even the most seasoned dirty talker freeze up. Being put on the spot often means that they’re not being their true selves, and you want your partner to want to talk dirty to you, not feel forced into it.

On who’s responsible for their orgasms

Jessica Drake tells Ask Men that the most important thing she’s learned from porn is that she’s responsible for her own orgasms. If your partner isn’t doing it for you but you don’t speak up and ask, the fault lies squarely with you.

Tell them what you want and need, otherwise it’s possible that they’ll never know.

On foreplay

The difference between most porn and real sex is that it takes women more than a minute to warm up to penetration; it’s not just blowjob, P-I-V, and then screaming orgasm. In order for your partner to thoroughly enjoy the session, focus on getting them excited before getting right down to it. Make the session last longer by dragging out the teasing.

One of the biggest things that we can learn from porn stars is to have fun with it and enjoy the moment, stop taking notes, and practice those moves you’re dying to try!

At Ashley Madison, we’re all about open communication whether you’re introducing a new person into your bedroom or just looking to spice up your own relationship. The more you talk about what you want in bed, the more likely you are to get it.

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Posted by yippieskip

About Yippie Skip, for Ashley Madison Ashley Madison is a world-famous dating community that operates in 47 countries. Our site attracts non-judgmental people looking for affairs, like-minded connections and more. Join today at www.ashleymadison.com

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