Let’s Talk About Sex

I feel like a connoisseur when it comes to sex these days. I've experienced my fair share.

Nothing fazes me anymore.

But at the same time don't understand who is telling them they are good in bed.

Their lack of skill is astounding.

There was one that I still crave, only because it felt natural; I didn't have to guide or reassure him, I didn't have to teach or pretend; in a perfectly imperfect world, we would be still fucking, still exploring.

Stories last forever; too bad our friendship couldn't. If we've been trying to hook up again and it's been a year…. Time to give up, honestly. I wish it was a different ending or another chapter. At one time, he was exactly what I needed… I'm single because I refuse to settle… I need that intense sex… That I crave… And I don't know why but for me, that was him…and since, well, you can read all about it, it is what fuels these new chapters and keeps me writing….even the why did I take my pants off moments in between. Since I have given up on wishy-washy men, the thing is, guys, tell me how amazing I am but treat me like a convenience.

From spitting (I'm wet by nature; if I'm not, then it's a you problem) to forcefully finger fucking, to squeezing my breasts so hard that I would assume that's what a mammogram feels like.

To one who just wanted me to be a starfish, at least tie me up and then do more than just stick it in… Ugh…

From cock rings ( which I had to retrieve from inside of me…wtf) to wanting vibrators up their asses… to some just content with wanting to watch me play, sex in public places, sleepovers to someone actually spending the weekend at my place, to still hooking up when he passes through town. This past year has been colorful, to say the least. But they always come back wanting to play.

Every chapter must come to an end; a story lives on longer than the good sex did.

Hoping one day, I'll stumble upon that again.

Curiosity always gets the best of me.

I'm playful and horny. What can I say?

My 40's have been a wild ride…

I don't believe in one-night stands but merely auditions.

Some gave them more chances than they deserved. Hoping they would get better.

Most said they were cheated on… Yes, It's unfortunate, but my guess is that the girls got bored.

Some guys don't like oral. Some are just way too sloppy.

I have no time to teach.

I caught feelings once last year.

Upped my body count and played out a fantasy or two.

Spent weekends away. Had a couple of firsts, went on a real date, and had a weekend getaway. ( It's been decades) Took a plan B. Never thought in a million years, especially in my 40s, that that would be a thing. So many emotions came into play as a side effect. Hung out with someone for over a month who I did not sleep with right off the bat. (Mainly because I had a vaginal hysterectomy which is a surgery to remove the uterus and the cervix) and was out of commission for 6 whole weeks…let me tell ya, I made up for it afterward.

We remain good friends. Only having sex once briefly, he didn't last long…I have one who it's just sex; we aren't friends, we don't small talk, I cum and go….literally. But he still doesn't quite do it for me…but he tries. I remain friends with most, all sharing a different dynamic but never catching feelings.

Maybe I'm a different breed.

My friends think so. The fact that I have zero fucks left is concerning. Or how I can move on so effortlessly.

Maybe these men couldn't handle a dominant, strong, independent female.

I am a guarded girl. If I let you in, it's not because I need you to complete me. It's that I found something I want to invest my time into. Need and want are two different aspects. My sex drive remains high.

I'm not that hard to please; up your game, put in the effort and consistency.

Take it out of the bedroom and be adventurous with me.

I shouldn't need to finish myself when I get home.

I need to stop hooking up with the wrong guys for a few minutes of playtime.

Barely scraping the surface.

Fuck me consistently or fuck off.

My curiosity is piqued once again…But will I actually go through with it? Well, that's another story……..