Another year older and still single. I put myself out there. I upped my body count a tad.
I made some mistakes, settled for less than I wanted and deserved.
The pattern here is these four-letter names. You know their names, don't you? Dick, Chad, Paul, Rick. Go off! These aren't the actual names. Or are they?
All these men claimed they wanted more but never follow-through. One, in particular, is still swiping on me, but we don't text. Others were still swiping also when they blew their chance. But still, text occasionally. Another guy, who is gun shy, and all talk with no game.
Yet sadly, his awkwardness and shy self brought some amusement to me.
Obviously not used to a strong alpha female and he was incredibly intimidated by my mere presence, yet so attracted to me.
Most still reaching out, even to chat. Most still want another night with me. But I am just not feeling it. Maybe I'm under-caffeinated these days and it changed my perspective.
Much like giving up my caffeine addiction, my urge for something more substantial rather than casual sex has also changed. I want to find that perfectly imperfect balance between relaxation and fun, with mind-blowing sex that is consistent.
Yet I'm still on dating apps. Multiple men hitting me up. Some are textationships that go nowhere. I want to get back out there. The urge is back to leave this city. I've been here too long, retiring my pack sacks. I want effort and consistency. No breadcrumbs, no miscommunication. I want someone who will compliment my life, not complicate it. I don't want to have to second guess them constantly. I want someone ready to take a chance on me.
To the men who strung me along: I'm done! I can't be your plaything or drunk phone call at 2 am. I will not flash you my tits so that you can jerk off, then send me a video of you cumming.
Why get close only to pull away? To the guys hitting me up on these apps stop it already! I don't want a booty call.
I'm working on me and to the next guy who wants to get to know me you better have your shit together, and please don't waste my time. Make your expectations known. Be a real one. Only one has managed to tug on my heartstrings. He moved on. Why wouldn't he take a chance on me?
The thing with texting is it's so impersonal. It's too easy to misconstrue and words get warped because you miss the tone.
Horrible date whatever-the-fuck? At this point I have lost track. One guy who looked nothing like his pictures and smelt like rotten cheese! Just ew! Go away! Then there's a guy I talked to for a while on the phone, video, texting, and he asked me to spend Christmas day with him. Finally, a guy with more than four letters in his name!
I drove four hours, got lost, and finally made it to his place. I sat down with a movie, and within 20 mins he was snoring on my chest. I let him sleep until I got uncomfortable trying to wake him. Only to push him off me, watching him as he flopped to the other side. Movie number one was over. His snoring intensified as I tried waking him. If I didn't just drive four hours I would have just got my shit and left and let him figure out where I went.
Three whole movies later he finally wakes up long enough to get off the couch twice. I was hoping the sex would have at least made the night a bit better.
It did not.
He was up a whole 45 minutes. I slept on the sofa and left as soon as I woke up, waking him when I gathered my stuff. He hugged me bye, and we parted ways. Unreal! He didn't even attempt to make it up to me; I never want to hear from him again.
Who's next on the roster? LMFAO. Honestly, I don't know if I'll have the patience for whoever is next.
2021 can best be described as a revolving door of men.