This is part sarcastic, part application, and part true; Take what resonates with you. Laugh about it or live it!
They are crawling over Tinder. With 3 out of 4 their pics displaying their bed. Or gorgeous bod. Or eyes. Immaculate style. Immaculate banter. That’s right…the classic F-boy. If you’ve been dating streak after streak of nice guy, mix it up and consider dating a F-boy. They are in fact still men, with feelings and thoughts, like the rest of us. On top of all that, however, they are Players. So play the game back! Only if you dare 😛
Know the Type of F-Boy You’re Dealing With:
In my either personal experience or recounts of witnessing f-boy charades experienced by my girlfriends, there is more than one type of F-boy, just like there is more than one type of girl player. There is the Artist, the Rebound, and the Sensitive.
He knows exactly what he’s doing with every pawn he sets down. They are Uber in tune with a woman’s motivations. When in their vicinity, you won’t even know they are a player! They’ll do all the fine wine and dining, the sweet whispers, and the…ultimate stringing along.
On the other hand, the Rebound is clear as day about their intentions. “Let’s get busy,” dings in your DM. “I’m not looking for anything serious.” Their approach is usually laced with the baggage of just coming out of a relationship or simply, being emotionally jaded. And for the majority of the time, it’s true and they’ve just decided to be upfront about it. And girls still take the bait. There isn’t as much finesse in their approach.
The Sensitive, is quite an intriguing type. They have both elements of the Rebound and the Artist. And I relate to this type the most! Similarly to the Rebound, they are still emotionally jaded but they are much more upfront about their intentions than the Artist. Nevertheless, they are still smooth talkers who know how to maneuver the game of courting quite seamlessly.
Strategize with the ‘Sex Card’
Let’s face it. 98% okay, I’ll give them 97%. 97% of a F-boy’s mind is on sex. So if you’re genuinely interested in this guy (who happens to be a F-boy), you have to at least NOT be afraid of the Topic of sex. We are in fact, grown women and men so sexuality is a natural and pertinent topic. If you’re someone who’s comfortable about your sexuality or have certain values centered on sex, you’re Allowed to express it.
TALKING about sex isn’t the same as HAVING it. When you do that, you’d have entered a realm for the F-boy that he can relate to and also, give the vibe you’re just pretty chill. Someone who doesn’t take everything too seriously. Fun, light-hearted…honey to this boy. That's His sweet talk.
Know Your Boundaries
There’s a fine, fine line between being receptive to a F-boy’s sexual innuendos and to simply being open. So I’d say use your gut. I mean if he’s just making some sex jokes here and there, just laugh about it. But if it’s too much, and you are indeed offended, obviously, stand your ground.
It’s fun and exciting to be salacious BUT don’t overindulge his ego and get stuck in the loop of him sending you sweet nothings every 3.A.M.
Strategize with ANYTHING else
You’re human. He’s human. F-boys still want pillow talk. F-boys fantasize about the sleeping with you. But how about after? You want to make him fantasize about the pillow talk just as much, or even more. Be authentic, meaningful, and vulnerable.
Know when to Stop, to “Finish”
Yes, Pun intended. You need to remember your intentions in interacting with a F-boy, a man of such caliber. Is it for the thrill? Are you just in a rut? Are you looking for a new experience? What do you want in the long-term? The short-term? Above all, what do you want?
Recognize the Game, the Rules, and the Exception
For most of the time, F-boys are after another notch in their belt. All enjoy winning, most enjoy the chase, and some enjoy the instant gratification.
If you play by the rules, and you’re a player as well, you’ll both get out of it, a win-win.
Along the way, if you realize you’re not in it for the game, and if you’re changing your rules, then something else might be on the horizon. Then you realize, he’s doing it too. And you’re both in it. Then congratulations. You’re dating.
Sarah Suhaimi practices 명음 by day and the art of dark chocolate bar swindling by night. She is currently working closely with a local Pittsburgh non-profit that serves sex-trafficked victims, Living in Liberty, as a volunteer and grant proposal writer. She founded the Southeast Asian Student Alliance (SEASA) at her university, and, as well, the "Offer Islam Campaign." Her works vary from prose to poetry to articles. Her published works include, ‘The Home of an Immigrant’s Daughter’ in the Art Catalogue for the 2012 Dublin Biennial, Dublin, Ireland and ‘Hidden Beauty Reveals Itself (Intellect Vs Instinct)’ in the Art Catalogue for the 2011 Florence Biennale VIII, Florence, Italy.