You're pumped. Your profile is complete!
You pluck your top five selfies from your phone (even though they’re all in the same bathroom mirror, but whatever, at least that ab pic is in there.) Check. You let the ladies know, in your two-sentence profile, you already have “plenty of options” and you’re just doing this “online thing” for fun (since you were told to be cocky in your profile by that self-proclaimed, online guru pick-up artist guy you paid $19 for their e-zine… what was his name again?) Check. You didn’t want to look too invested (or desperate), so you skip filling in the “Books I’ve Read” or “Places I Recently Traveled” sections. Boring! Check.
Two weeks later, you stare in horror at your two “winks;” one from the girl with absolutely no pics and the words “hi msg me for more” floating in an abyss of empty sections and stats, and the other from the cryptic goth chick who talks about lighting rainbows on fire and playing dead in public places for fun. Sound familiar?
Fortunately, regardless of what you look like or how much money you make, not only is there someone out there for you, but someone attractive you’d kill to go out with is praying for someone like you to reach out to them! Yes! All you’ve got to do is get back to being yourself and marketing that self effectively.
1. You’re Writing What Everyone Else is Writing
Briefly visit 5 other men’s profiles similar in age to you. Do you see a pattern? You’ll see short, skimpy profiles that talk about going to bars to have fun and looking for a “laid-back” situation with a girl. It’s staggering how many guys promote themselves in this exact way. Be humble, be bold, and most importantly, be fresh!
2. Your Profile is Riddled With Grammatical Errors
This should be obvious. Run spellcheck on a word processor before you import your text to your profile. Triple-check it for spelling and punctuation. Neglecting this one alone can keep you alone.
3. You’re Not Telling a Good Story
A good story is fun and unpredictable. We’re not talking fiction here, we’re talking about your story. Try opening your profile with a funny story about the cab ride from the airport when you visited Madrid, or the time your grandmother set you up on a blind date. Whatever it is, be authentic with it.
4. You’re Not Letting Your Sense of Humor Shine Through
I think it’s safe to say no one wants to be bored to death. That goes for women, too. They have plenty of options, but they’re yearning for you to make it easy for them. Give them the fun-filled experience they’ve been waiting for, whether it be through your sarcasm or self-deprecation, this cannot be left out. Women love fun, just don’t go overboard.
5. You’re Not Being Specific about Who You Are and What You’re Looking For
Most guys are just looking to hook up. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just be up front about it. Maybe you just got out of a relationship. Maybe you’re ready for “the one.” Either way, a woman will appreciate your candor even if it’s not what’s she’s looking for. Be a gentleman and no one can fault you.
6. You Didn’t Fill In All of the Sections
Let’s face it, there are too many lazy people in the world. Most people don’t find that quality attractive. This one hurts most guys more than they think. If the section states “Places I Recently Traveled,” I don’t care if that place was your neighboring town… write something about it! The only one that is acceptable to skip is income. No exceptions.
7. You’re Not Smiling Enough In Your Photos
Be honest with yourself. Are you looking a little depressed in those pics? Looking like a psycho killer? This is the first thing women are looking at next to your profile pic, and remember, drunken smiles don’t count.
8. You’re Not Highlighting Your Skill Sets In Your Photos
Choose 2-3 activities you loved to do on a regular basis and have a friend capture the moment. Even if it’s a bit bizarre, be true to yourself and post it. After all, these are the things you want to do with your new lady next to you, right?
9. You Didn’t Post Enough Pictures
No less than five photos and no more than one selfie. Period.
10. Your Headline is Unoriginal
Aim for six words or less. You in six words. This should be fun, but take you time with it. Try reading up on some poetry for ideas.
Ryan Carmody is CEO of SinkFoot LLC, a mobile app developing company whose chief product is SinkFoot, the Ultimate Flirting App, made for the iPhone and Android. Ryan is a relationship and dating blogger. He resides is sunny Los Angeles, California with his girlfriend.