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First dates can understandably feel a bit nerve-wracking. You’re getting to know someone, all while trying to gauge if there is a mutual attraction between the both of you. It’s common to want to overthink your every move as you try to make a good first impression.
When creating a connection with someone new, one of the most important steps you can take is to maintain eye contact. With that being said, you may be wondering how to make eye contact without being creepy.
Today, we will discuss four ways you can confidently make eye contact while on a first date.
1. Follow the 50/70 rule
Have you ever heard of the 50/70 rule? According to verywellmind.com, the 50/70 rule refers to holding eye contact 50% of the time while speaking and 70% of the time while listening. Let’s say you’re on a first date at a local Italian restaurant. While your date is telling you about her recent beach vacation, take a second to have a sip of your wine, or take a bite of your eggplant parmesan and nod. When you’re the one doing the talking, you can use hand gestures to help break up eye contact.
2. Don’t overthink
While it can be easy to want to overthink your every move on a first date, do your best not to. Instead of focusing on your body language, eye contact, or reactions, shift your attention to listening to her and genuinely getting to know her. If you overthink too much, you might get lost in your thoughts, and she may think you’re not paying attention to her when in reality, you’re just feeling a bit nervous! She’s likely feeling nervous as well, as this is a normal part of a first date that many people experience!. When you take a moment to relax and clear your mind, it helps you refocus on being “in the moment” with her.
3. Plan a first date where eye contact isn’t a focal point
If you’re worried about holding a little too much eye contact, consider planning a first date where eye contact isn’t a feature of the date’s ambiance. Great options would be taking a walk in the park, hiking on a nearby trail, or playing a round of mini-golf. When you’re focused on another activity while getting to know someone, eye contact isn’t as prevalent. This can help to ease your nerves if you tend to overthink it. Once you feel more comfortable being around her, you can try a date that involves more eye contact, like sitting down for dinner.
4. Try not to stare
There is a big difference between making eye contact and staring. Staring consists of fixating your gaze on someone or something, seemingly in a trance, while eye contact is simply meeting someone else’s gaze. One refreshing fact is that eye contact does not need to be continuous. When speaking to your date, see if you can look away every so often to relax your eyes and mind.
Conclusion to how to make eye contact without being creepy on a first date
If you’re looking to find the balance between making too much or too little eye contact while on a first date, it’s so helpful to remember these points…
- Follow the 50/70 rule,
- Don’t overthink,
- Choose date options that don’t involve a lot of eye contact, and
- Do your best not to stare!
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