I’m a 54 year old, happily remarried woman to a great person who wasn't my ideal man, then became my perfectly flawed man. I have been where you are now, through my education and experience, I am sharing the truth about dating and finding someone who, given a chance, may just surprise you. So with that in mind I ask, why is dating so hard? Commercialism verses reality.

You watch all the advertising for any product and you usually see attractive people walking hand in hand, acting “in love”. We are inundated as a society by the dream of love! I aimed for those fantasies when I was younger, and was so disenchanted that I couldn’t have the life I saw in movies, TV shows, commercials. They are real people paid to pretend they are in love. Now ask yourself, how many of those romantic leads are happily paired with the right partner, in real life?

Ask yourself, how much time was spent with directors to get a 30 second commercial made. I made a 10 second commercial when I was younger and it took 8 hours, mostly set up cameras at the right angle, then waiting for the light to be right. Commercials, TV shows and movies are all smoke and mirrors.

Now ask yourself another question: Who is Mr./Ms. Right for you? Is it the person at the club, restaurant, sporting event that is good looking but looks like they’re so busy trying to impress others? Could it be the person having fun, talking to other people or being kind or polite to others, but is only okay looking?

When you are dating, you should be thinking about these questions that only you can answer! Have you ever had a friend or co-worker that wasn’t attractive but the more you got to know them the more attractive they became? I would bet (if I were a betting person) that the answer is yes!  Dating is no different. Find someone who has potential because you enjoy or like the way they handle themselves in public. Do they have the qualities that you respect? Enjoy? Have fun with?  If you can be honest about who you are and what you have to offer a relationship, you have a good chance of getting the relationship you want!  Warning: relationships take as much work or more, as your job/career requires! You need to show up in your relationship every day, put the time in, learn how to do it right, and you might just find your “soul mate”.

Author Profile

Susan Ziggy

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Raised by a psychologist father who was married several times, Ziggy knows a thing or two about relationships and communication. She’s a tried and true motivator, all parts feisty and comedic, is the epitome of approachable, and lives each day working to help as many people as possible.

It wasn't until she experienced marriage counseling that realized she was worthy and capable of greater love. Now remarried to her “perfectly-flawed man” Ziggy enjoys inspiring and educating others on how to accept themselves and recognize how to find their perfectly-flawed counterpart. She aims at tapping into the true needs and wants we each have in relationships, while helping to identify those traits in others.

Ziggy holds a Master’s degree in special education, is an expert in communication and human behavior, and authored “What To Do Before You Say ‘I Do’”, a useful guide for those to find the relationship they want and deserve.