Here is one of the biggest questions of all – Do men even know how to relate? The answer to this question could easily go in more than one direction. It's important to keep in mind that when it comes to romance and relatioships men and women relate in different ways, because they are wired to be different.
For a man to ‘relate' to his lover, he needs to share some activities with her. This is the way a man relates to you because that is how they relate to themselves. On the other hand, women are looking for another way of relating. Women want to talk, women want to feel connected with their man by sharing their thoughts, ideas, worries, fears, etc. If a woman doesn't have the chance to express all of her emotions with you, she feels ALONE in the relationship. She won't be able to be vulnerable with her man when he comes around and wants to be physically intimate. I know many men would prefer to tell their girlfriends to go ahead and call a female friend to talk or discuss things with instead of having to listen to her ramble on himself. Well guys, let me tell you something, that is the WRONG WAY to handle your girl. She already knows she could share her thoughts with her female friends if she wants to and in fact probably already did it. But that is not the point; the point is that she is trying to connect with YOU since it is with you with whom she has a relationship. So don't send her to her friends just so you can have your own selfish space. That will damage her and the relationship will bear the signs.
For a man it can be hard to sit down and listen to our pain and our discombobulated thoughts. That's understandable because men are made for action and for problem-solving. A man's natural instinct is to read into our problem after 30 seconds and start looking for a logical solution. It's boring for him to listen to our darkness or complaints about life without him. He wants to get to the point and fix it as if it were an oil change. What men don't understand is that when women talk between themselves, they connect with each other by what I call ‘being critical about everything'. We like to talk about all the things that don't work and all the things that confuse us so. To put it another way, women communicate what they want by telling you what they don't want. Pay attention to how your girl communicates with you. How many times have you said to her, Why don't you just tell me what you want instead of telling me what you don't want??? Sound familiar? If you're a man with any experience of women and you are reading this blog you would probably agree with me. So next time she tells you what she doesn't want, try reading into it to decipher what it is she really wants.
Men also need to understand that the more they can relate to a woman's needs, the better chances they have of getting laid. So learn! Remember guys, if she is happy you, you will reap the rewards her body has to offer. If she feels left alone she will make your time difficult and not be inclined to ‘reward' you.
So that's a little secret that goes a long way: If men can learn to be a little less self-centered and become a little more thoughtful toward his woman, everything will run smoother. Just listen. No fixing. No solutions. Just look her in the eyes and connect and ask questions. The counter-intuitive payoff is that she'll probably give you more of your own space cuz she'll find you so much more satisfying. Just try it a few hours a day, k?
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