Most of us have heard this unfortunate excuse at least once in our dating experiences. It typically leaves us feeling confused and with a bit of a bruised ego. Asking ourselves, “What does that even mean”? The short answer…I don't want a relationship…..with you. A difficult hand to be dealt, especially when the man you've been investing time with, enjoying mutually great times together and have started to feel for, has different intentions than you.
I spent all of my 20's and my early 30's in marriage. When that relationship ended and I entered the single world, I was beyond naive. I had no clue what was happening in this new era of dating. I fell for many things, always believing for the best in people. After a little bit of time and experience, I began to notice the level of games that were being played and the commonalities of how men were playing them. Naturally, when one particular man came along, who didn't seem to be playing on that same field, I was quick to be smitten. His behaviors were just at an elevated expertise of the game. You can't simply fall for looks, charm, and great foot rubs. After a few months, a man who is certain about you should be able to communicate that. Entertaining vague explanations of what he wants pertaining to a relationship and empty promises is not what shows your worth, nor is a man who serves you such crumbs, a man who you want to invest time with.
There are also a few other ways men (who want to keep you around for fun or the time being) will beat around the bush in trying to tell you they don't want a relationship with you. Saying things like, “Let's just enjoy ourselves and see where this goes”, or “I've been hurt before, I need to take things slowly”. When a man tells you anything that sounds along that same vein, take my word for it…..leave him alone. It is absolute B.S. You will simply be wasting your invaluable time and energy, thinking he will eventually see that you are amazing and worth claiming. This hesitation simply means he is unsure about you. Something about you doesn't quite check off all his proverbial boxes. When you hear this sort of excuse, it is a perfect time to realize your worth. We all deserve to be treated amazing and being strung along is certainly a far cry from the treatment you deserve. While it may sting to find yourself in this type of situation, take it as a sign that there IS a man out there who will be certain about you, who will value you and is far better than the man who is giving you selfish excuses.
I have learned from mature men who are grounded in themselves and who KNOW what they want, it typically only takes a man two weeks to a month to be certain that you are what he wants and checks all the boxes of what he is looking for. He will not hesitate in making sure that he secures you. He will not be fickle about his intentions and will make sure you cannot be lost to another man. He will recognize your worth and show that he does. That man is the one worth your time.