I was reading through the Twitterverse the other day when @lildevilmama, exasperated, posted tweet to the tune of “Guys really need to get their ‘order of operations' of dating right. #datingfail.” I laughed and cried and other silly stuff. I don't know that @lildevilmama coined that term, but I'm going to say that she did. The Order of Operations for Dating. What should they be?
Note @lildevilmama also wrote up a piece on this very subject as well that you should check out! Click the link!
Math has an order of operations. It screwed me over more times than tequila and a girl with a dangerously large booty at the club… The order of operations in math can't be effed with, so don't try.
Dating is like that, too. That is, if you skip the “getting to know you” phase and skip to the “I want to biblically know you” phase then you'll likely get punched, kicked, tazed and arrested and not necessarily in that order, of course… Some may even call it date rape. So avoid the confusion and understand the general Order of Operations for Dating…
Feel free to add your own here, kids. I'm just going to put mine down and let's see what everyone thinks about it.
- First Phase – This phase is where the magic happens, where the sparks are made. One must be attractive and be willing to pursue that which attracts them. During this phase the focus should be getting know the object of your erection… I mean affection, kids. Sorry bout that one. =)
- Second Phase – In this phase, if you made it this far, it's assumed that you've been given the green light to feel around, perhaps kiss, perhaps very passionately. No, you haven't had sex just yet… It's coming… Like you eventually, unless you pull a “Will Parker.” He's a guy I went to school with that apparently had an unfortunate early onset of erectile dysfunction. No Cialis back then, kiddies… For shame.
- Third Phase – At this point it's expected that some sexing up has been going on; intimacy, heavy petting, sex, whatever you wanna call it; it's going down in more ways than one.
I'm going to stop at three phases. I'm not a micro-phased person. I like summaries and Cliff Notes. Give me what I need to know and make it legible and with large pictures of scantily clad/non-clad women.
What are you Order of Operations, guys? Leave a comment!