Homeboy didn't get his woman something shiny for Christmas, so she figured she'd give him a shiner instead! Don't be this dude!
Women and Jewelry! I don't know what it is about the holidays that women in a relationship get this notion that their special someone is actually going to buy them a special gift… Absolutely absurd! You hear me? Absurd!! Okay, maybe not. Still, it seems like I hear women talking about it at work all the time… Honestly, you'd be surprised at some of the stuff I hear these women say and what I've heard makes me damn scared… or scurred. You decide!
One lady, named Joyce, said quietly to one of her calleagues: “If Harold comes home like a chicken head with a card and a gift certficate, I'm gonna super glue his manliness to his stomach!” Damn! I know what you're thinking! “Holy crap! That dude is gonna be in for it!” Me? Sure, I was impressed by this dastardly deed, like all of you. Joyce's point was that a) she's damn dangerous and shouldn't be allowed around super glue and b) she wants jewlery. Something sparkly and shiny. For what reasons I simply do not know. I can only guess that there's something that Santa puts into the water that makes you women just go all nutty for shiny stuff.
Just the other day I went to get a tea with one of my co-workers. She took me through Nordstrom and started pointing out jewelry that I could by my girlfriend. How did THAT happen?Ā To my knowledge they never mentioned that knew each other. Yet it was clear that a conspiracy was in the works! Then, the following week, I had dinner with one of my dearest friends, Olga. She, too, chimed in that I should get her something from Tiffany's! Holy hell in a handbasket!!! WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU CRAZY WOMEN AND JEWELRY!!! How am I supposed to buy a new smart phone (only my fourth one this year) and still afford something pretty and shiny for my woman!!??? Tell me!!??
Be sweet and buy your lady something shiny this holiday season! Don't get kicked in the head!
Okay. I'm calming down.
So I'm looking at a few things at the moment. There's a deal going on at Ice.com where they give you twenty smackers toward your purchase and free shipping just in the nick of time to subdue your woman's jewelry lust for Christmas. It, like you, will expire on 12/31 if you don't act soon and handle your business!. Just click the link or use FRNDS at checkout.
If my lovely little peach of a girlfriend reads this, then, yes, honey, I love you and there's something shiny waiting for you. Please stop kicking me into submission. K? Thanks!
This post is sponsored by Ice.com (damn, how cool are they to have ice.com as their URL? Tiiiight!)
Signup for Our Newsletter
You're welcome for proofreading this and correcting your spelling errors. š
Thanks, mom! =)
I don't know why, but we truly are genetically programmed to like shiny things. You're right, the only sane and safe thing that you men can do is just not fight it.
Count yourself lucky, your lady could be batcrap mad like me, and instead of browsing sites like ice.com, she's spending her waking hours on this one: http://jewelry.1stdibs.com. There is a reason why you need to open an account to see the prices.
No wonder I'm still single.
Your advice is just not fight it? Greeeaaat. You're in on this conspiracy, too! All the way from France even!!! Gee whiz!
I know that my woman isn't into possessions and what not. However, I know that something nice is what she'd like. Does the higher value place more value on our relationship? Perhaps it's the amount that I value her? I'd like to think not. But, yeah, you women and your shiny shit! Le Dammit!
[…] The ChristĀmas Gift GivĀing ConunĀdrum ā Guys, did you piss off your woman? Buy her someĀthing sparkly, which will surely disĀtract her from kickĀing you in the ankle, from our sponĀsor, Iceā.com. […]