Shy Dating: How To Be Less Shy On A First Date

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Dating in this day and age can be stressful for many people, as it is with the advent of the internet and online dating. Adding the element of shyness to the mix can be a bit more overwhelming. First date jitters are entirely normal and can probably lead you to believe that you are just too shy to date. However, shyness could be attractive, even shy people should be allowed to date without hyperventilating.

These jitters can be overcome with a few helpful tips and tricks. In this article, I will give you dating advice to prevent or lessen the chances of shy dating. Moreover, it will also help people learn how to go from talking to dating a person, understand when dating shy people, and even what to do when two shy people are dating each other. The ultimate goal here is to learn how not to be shy or, at the very least, how to be less shy during the first date.

What To Do When You're Too Shy To Date?

It takes work to date, especially when it comes to stepping outside of your comfort zone. Even if it could seem laborious, the outcome is always worthwhile. Despite any ups and downs, you may experience, your motivation should be the relationship you want and guide you through how not to be shy or be less shy.

If you are naturally shy, dating can feel unnerving. So, it is crucial to remember that your shyness will eventually wear off, even if you're too nervous to date at first. My advice is just to become accustomed to the other person. For instance, to defuse the awkwardness on the first date, start with icebreakers and light discussions such as, “How was your day today?” or “Tell me about yourself.” As the conversation flows, your opinion of yourself may change, and you will eventually learn not to be shy. Consequently, you'll feel less self-conscious and be more comfortable forging a relationship with the other person instead of shy dating. This will be the first step in learning how not to be shy.

How To Meet Women When You Are Shy

Shyness can often hinder people from not only talking but meeting other people. You probably wonder where and how to meet a girl if you are shy.

I suggest you set yourself up for spontaneous encounters with women as a starting point rather than actively figuring out how to meet women when you are shy. Simply put, I'm referencing is in a setting that encourages conversation, like a college or social gathering. In environments like this, people are motivated and prepared to interact with others. Contrary to shy dating, this method is much simpler in terms of meeting someone, starting a discussion about a topic that both of you can relate to, and then gradually moving the conversation toward an effort to ask a woman out.

You can also start safely by introducing yourself to individuals. Whether they are men or women attracted to you makes very little difference; the goal is to gain some confidence in your ability to start a conversation. You're going first to feel like it's a big deal. Applaud yourself for having the guts to experiment with something difficult for you and stepping out of your comfort zone, as meeting women when you are shy is a considerable hurdle.

That initial adrenaline rush will fade as time passes and you practice more. You'll grow progressively better at this until you can converse normally with a woman you find appealing without being overwhelmed by shyness to the point that you can't speak.

How To Talk To A Guy When You're Shy

When you first see him, approaching a cute guy could be a little unnerving. Fortunately, you may employ a few strategies to increase your self-assurance and learn how to talk to a guy when you're shy.

Your thoughts could go blank when you're anxious. Think about possible responses to the person you like for a while, so you have a few choices. Being prepared will help you learn how not to be shy. Make an effort to do the following:

●  Ask about his weekend

●  Talk about a shared topic

●  Pay him a compliment

One of the simplest methods to talk to a guy, even if you are shy, is to go over and introduce yourself, then ask him for his name. You may alternatively tell him your name if the two of you are already acquainted (albeit perhaps not very well). Say something like:

“I'm Samantha. Happy to meet you.”

“Hello, my name is Eric. I believe that we will go together by bus.”

“I'm Kristen. How are you? Are you from around here?”

Remember to keep it relaxed and comment on something from your environment. Consider your surroundings and choose a topic to discuss, such as the quality of the town's newest restaurant, books you both might have read, or movies you enjoy.

How To Go From Talking To Dating

When it comes to new relationships, there is never a clear distinction between talking and dating. When two people see each other, this may frequently lead to tension or uncertainty. So how to go from talking to dating?

I advise that you must express an interest in the other person first. Use sentences like:

“I've liked spending time with you and getting to know you more.”

If you want to take a more direct approach, let them know where you're at.

“I'd want to explore whatever this may be and perhaps take it a step further.”

This will essentially allow you to express your emotions easily.

10 Tips For Two Shy People Dating

Sometimes, not only one person may feel shy to go on a first date, but it could also be both of them. Two shy people dating can be a common occurrence. Luckily, there are a few helpful tips for dating shy people when you yourself are too shy to date.

1. Evoke A Strong Interest

People that are too shy to date require a strong hint that others are interested in them. They must try to give each other a casual smile and a greeting upon first meeting. When you are with each other, maintain eye contact for longer. When you start a discussion, the other person may approach you or at the very least feel at ease because of your interest.

2. Conversational Topics

Prepare conversation with themes around the books, T.V. series, and news that you and your date could find intriguing (nothing serious).

3. Prepare For The Date

Prepare your responses to the queries What's new? Before the date to prevent appearing awkward. Describe your activities in detail as well.

4. Be Patient With Each Other

Remember that with two shy people dating, you both may feel stressed and overwhelmed by constant conversation while you are speaking to one another. Do not interpret the quietness as a lack of interest.

5. Be Honest

A shy individual could miss minor cues and perhaps fail to grasp your interests. I suggest being assertive and upfront about your goals if you two want to move things along.

6. Find A Compromise

Try to discover each other's interests if you can't find anything you have in common. For example, if they like playing football, you can offer to go to his match.

7. Be Present

When two shy people are dating, they should smile, pay attention to the other individual, and pay close attention to the aspects of their environment. The root of shyness is having all of your focus on yourself, and this may help overcome that.

8. Ask Broad Questions

Ask open-ended, broad queries such as, “How was your day?” Where did you grow up, exactly? One way to strike the perfect balance is to ask questions. Not only will this help you get to know your date better, but it will also show that you're interested in learning more about them. However, not all questions are created equal. Steer clear of anything too personal or controversial, and focus on asking open-ended questions that will encourage your date to talk about themselves. By asking thoughtful questions, you're sure to make a lasting impression on your first date.

9. Steer Clear Of Heavy Topics

On your first date, avoid having tough conversations because they might ruin the chemistry. These include subjects like past relationships, private matters, etc.

10. Reassure One Another

If there was any connection at all, express your enjoyment of the conversation and your desire to continue it at a later stage.


Sometimes the best way to approach shyness and overcome the first date jitters is to be yourself and remain positive, even when it does not go as planned. Remember that practicing with anyone will allow you to perfect your skills over time until your shyness eventually disappears on its own.

Author Profile

Emma Ward is a writer and blogger, who writes about Lifestyle, Psychology, and Relationship topics. She gained proficiency in writing through studies at Denver University.
Her blog specializes in stories and articles with different advice in relationships, collecting dating tips, useful information, various tops, quizzes, and more. She happily shares her experiences traversing the wilds of social media. Emma’s mission is to inspire, cultivate, and empower singles to their highest potential, find their soulmates, and build sustainable wealth and relationships for couples.

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