If you are a member of the L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ community, then finding a date can be quite a challenge if you're in an area where the dating pool is small. You may find it hard to reveal your sexual inclination, especially if you are an introvert. As the L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ community is very small in many places, your introverted nature can make it hard for you to find common ground with your potential partner on which you can build your relationship.
If you look for dating tips available online, then you would be frustrated because the majority of these tips are focused on heterosexual people. Therefore, the resources that are available to guide you on how to date in your community despite your introverted nature are hard to come by. To help you in this, we have put together some tips that would make your love life simpler in the LGBT community even if you are shy and introverted.
Dating tips for introverts to follow in the L.G.B.T.Q.I.A+ community
Here is a list of some effective tips that if you follow carefully can make your love life smoother and you would be able to get the partner that you desire without much problem.
Don’t wear a false mask, be yourself
When you go out on a date, then you must be yourself and not try to pretend to be someone else. Your culture, the influences of your friends and your background plays an important part in who you are. Therefore, you may not be comfortable talking to your date by pretending to be someone else.
If you feel self-conscious while dating, then you can project your identity through your unique style like wearing clothes that convey your fashion sense and your personality. You could also use your fashion statement as a conversation starter to break the ice on your first date.
Stand apart in a crowd
When you enter the dating world, then you need to establish your own unique identity that sets you apart, otherwise, you would be just another face in the crowd. To start this process, you have to focus on your dating profile. Write some interesting and creative messages that others who are viewing your profile find interesting. Your profile should allow others to make a good guess about your true nature. You will find that people who can understand you through your profile are more likely to connect with you.
You can also include some stories about your passion that make it interesting. Write down the important info about yourself which the other person will find truly interesting. Try to make your messages engaging. The first impression is crucial to establish your identity therefore take your time in your dating messages so that your first meeting goes off in the right way.
Figure out what type of introvert you are?
If you are an introvert and want to overcome the challenges you are facing due to your nature, the first thing you must do is figure out what type of introvert you are. Are you sociable, shy, or somewhere between these two? It is wrong to say that introverts are shy, you will find that many introverts are extremely interesting people. If you are a sociable introvert, then you might be outgoing in a social setting but you need extra time to recharge. On the other hand, shy introverts always try to avoid social situations as they want solitude. In addition to these two, there is the ambivert, which is a mix of extroversion and introversion.
Once you find out your true nature, you should communicate your needs with your date. You should not try to be overly emotional while communicating about your needs, but try to use the right tone when you talk. This would help the other person to give respect to your feelings and follow your pace in developing the relationship and not overwhelm you with his/her expectations.
Make your first dates shorter
If you are an introvert, you would either find someone who you just cannot get along with at all or a person with whom you are comfortable. Therefore, to find what kind of energy you share with the person, try to keep your first dates short. You should not commit to a dinner date with someone when you first meet. When you go out for your first meeting, try to arrange a coffee date. In case you don’t vibe well with your date you can simply walk away after finishing your first cup of coffee.
What you want in a partner
When you start dating, then the most important question you should ask yourself is what do you seek in your partner? There could be occasions where you find someone attractive, but in the long run, that person may not be right for you and it can lead to disappointment. Therefore, don’t jump into the dating arena blindly.
First, you should think about all those things that would make a person right for you. You should also figure out those factors which are key deal breakers for you. Once you have figured out what you want in a person with whom you are going out on a date, then share it with the person you are meeting for the first time. This will keep everything above board as your date may not want the things in the same way that you do, clearing this stuff initially would help you avoid conflict later.
Find some common ground/interest
If you want to know someone on the first date, then you have to converse with the person. However, the topic of the conversation should be such that both parties enjoy it thoroughly. Therefore, take your time to find the common ground to start a conversation. You can begin the conversation about the L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ activities that you may have joined in or wish to join in the future. You can also share your interest in various types of movies or TV series.
Furthermore, talking about your family and the support they provide you could also be a good conversation starter. You can ask your date about what things emotionally move him and based on that you can find some common ground to discuss to know more about your date.
Use dating apps
If you are an introvert, then you would find it hard to meet people in a formal environment. Places like Bars, social gatherings, and parties can be a bit overwhelming for you. Therefore, you can ask your friend or family member to introduce you to someone. This type of organic dating has its advantages.
However, if this option is not available for you or you don’t want to use this option, then you can use dating apps that remove the initial face-to-face interaction challenge that you find overwhelming. Numerous dating apps are focused on the L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ community and you can try them out to find which one is best suited for your needs. These L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ dating apps have completely changed the way we approach and engage with a stranger to find whether that person is going to be the love of our life.
They asked every type of question know your date
You must ask many questions to your date on varied subjects and watch what type of reaction it elicits. You should carefully look at the vocal cues, and body language of your date when he is answering your question to figure out his true emotions. Questions help you to find out what the other person thinks or feels about various topics relating to religion, relationships, vacation, politics, and so on.
The more common ground you find through your questions, the more it would help you to figure out whether your date is perfect for you and you can think about a long-term relationship with him.
Be upfront and what you want
You must be open about what your expectations are with the relationship that you want to build with your date. It could be just about finding more about your sexual identity or you have come out of a long-term relationship and are seeking new options. You must be honest whether you are looking for a serious relationship, a friendship, or a casual fling.
Find whether your date is an introvert or extrovert
Many introverts find it easy to date other introverts because they feel that they are in a better position to understand what it is like and they can empathize with you. In such a relationship they don’t feel the pressure to commit themselves very quickly but they can take their time to understand the other person first. On the other hand, some introverts find it easier to date an extrovert because in such a relationship the extrovert has to do all the heavy lifting and you can stay being in your introverted self.
Bring a friend if needed
If you are going on a blind date, then it would not be very unusual to go with your friend. You should meet the date at a place where other people are present, like a double date. When you go on a double date, you should make sure that you have adequate one-to-one time with your date. You must also vet your date properly through multiple video chats as well as phone calls to confirm he/she is who he/she says is.
Ask open-ended and thought-provoking questions
You can hardly ask your date yes or no questions which will lead to awkward silence that can disrupt the flow. Therefore, try to ask more open-ended questions so that your date can expand further to keep the conversation going. You can also ask some thought-provoking questions on interesting and even controversial topics to understand the opinion of your date on those subjects and how well you both match in your temperament.
Dating can be such a wonderful experience in which you meet a new person who could be your soul mate for life. It is not always necessary that when you date a person, you will end up in a relationship, but you can gain a friendship and feel like a part of the wider L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ community. Therefore, if you are a bit hesitant due to your introverted nature to go out and date somebody, then just follow the tips that are shared in this article. So, what are you waiting for, go ahead and find someone with whom you can build a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship.