A Date with the Urban Dater

*Note – I've never actually had anyone post about a date they had with me… Perhaps it's because I send women screaming or something like that. But the lovely Nikki offered one such post up for me… It's un-edited (aside from this bit), enjoy! – Alex*

I went back on OKCupid because I was absolutely bored one day and suffering from the most hellish cold. Being single has its perks for sure but one thing I really miss is the comfort of a man when I’m down and out with a case of the sniffles. If I can’t have a man in my very cold bed (no pun intended) I will take the next best thing and troll the Internet! Why not! Craigslist is a bit too lowbrow and I remember that I did have an OKC profile when my now defunct relationship was in a bit of a time out. I have been dating but I needed more. I needed attention. I reactivated my OKC account and low and behold I got some hits.

Being the picky bitch that I am I found nobody I was remotely into. Maybe the divorced 48 year old 300 pound father of four whose main pic was of him adorning a black leather vest while sitting on his Harley who so eloquently wrote that he wants to “fuck me till I bleed”, or the guy with no shirt on but a better physique that was into “cuckolding” (had to look that up. YIKES!), maybe the 22 year old kid with gray teeth who looked nothing short of Napoleon Dynamite? Who is a girl supposed to choose among these fine suitors? I sighed as I sniffled into my cup of chamomile tea. I shut my computer off and passed out for the evening feeling slightly defeated. No attention from anyone noteworthy. Le sigh.

So it goes.

I didn’t really think too much about the profile I posted and I had received some pings into my Gmail regarding emails waiting from possible potentials on OKC waiting for a response. I didn’t even read most of them. I did, however, take a peek at one who turned out to be UD (Urban Dater)

I liked the profile. I liked the “I'm cooler than the other side of the pillow… Well, actually, only my mom says that…” Owns own business and the big kicker for me was that he is 6’4. Me being 5’10, I never meet anyone taller then me so I liked that. I liked it a lot.

Now lets cut to the chase. I’ll save the funny clever banter, the dialogue and the email exchanges. We Skyped chatted first. I had never done that and neither had UD before meeting someone from online. I have to be honest, by his pictures he really didn’t seem my type. He seemed a bit of someone with no edge and older then he said he was. When we Skyped, it could have been further from my perception. He was devilishly handsome and made me laugh. I bet I blushed on more then one occasion. We joked about how many fingers I was holding up after two hours of video time and before we both could agree that I was indeed holding up two fingers he signed off. No bye and no plans. Just a little skype line reading, “Nice chatting with you”

So it goes.

I think it was me that decided to ask him if we were going to go out. He picked a place downtown where I had never been and I gladly accepted. I was excited. I felt a slight tinge of the butterflies. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not but I took longer then I usually do getting ready. Looking forward to a possibility but being apprehensive by nature. I’m prone to being disappointed.

He came out to help me find the place (I always get lost downtown) and he stumbled off the step out of the bar.  He seemed genuinely a bit embarrassed by this which I found endearing on both accounts. We had a lovely dinner and he complemented my dress and style. I guess I made the right choice wearing a little black dress and red heels with my black and white coat draped over my shoulders. I admitted to him that I had a dating blog called thehollywoodscandal.com (which is in desperate need of an update). I gave him an open to tell me about this site but not a word. He told me that there is no way I could even find anything on him if I Googled him. I felt comfortable and after dinner we had a glass of wine across the street. As the even came to a close, we shared a simple, but nice kiss. He asked to watch me walk away to my car complimenting me on my legs. Feeling good about the evening. I knew I wanted to see him again. I would have gone out with him if we met in “real life”

I decided to wait till I met him till I Googled him and I did the next day. I found out he had this site. I gave him an open that he didn’t take. He wasn’t lying and this wasn’t a deal breaker but I told him I found it. I stopped reading because I felt I was being intrusive. I asked him and he said he was sorry and he should have told me. Well, from the look of this site there is no way he wants a girlfriend. I am not sure what I want, but I know I don’t want to be just another OKC date stuck in the foreground of many other lovely ladies who have went on date with UD and it just didn’t work out. (maybe I do want something real?) We texted a few times after that but it got weird. He didn’t call or text and always seemed to have company. We had made plans for the flowing Saturday but he never called again or since. I have since deactivated my OKC account. I don’t trust dating online. Too many “something betters” I guess I could say that about any two people meeting out in the world. To quote The Pretenders:

“Once in awhile. Two people meet

Seemingly for no reason

They just pass on the street

Suddenly thunder, showers everywhere

Who can explain the thunder and rain

But there's something in the air”

Maybe the universe doesn’t want us to force fate. Maybe things should just happen without seeking them out in the digital sea of nameless faces. I guess I’ll keep my options open in the real world.

So it goes.

Nikki Wantz

Website | + posts

Nikki is a stand up comedian and writer. She lives in Los Angeles

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