Go On, Get Your Heart Broken. It's Good For You!
Heart break. Dealing with a heart break sucks! In my mom’s continuing development from her own recent heart break she has taken up with eHarm’s free communication week and has called me… A lot. Talking to my mom frequently isn’t a problem, I love my mum! She’s just having a hard time after being dumped by her “boyf.” All of this was exasperated by the fact her best friend saw the dude at the grocery store with another woman… Ouch. I had to cringe at that one. My poor mom! So what advice did I have to impart?
First off, I’m not great at real time advice giving; it’s why I write on this damn blog in the first place! Secondly, if there’s one person I’m bad at giving advice to, it’s my mom. I told her the best way to get over someone, was to get under someone new… Yeah. Go me! Ugh.
I think the first question in anyone’s mind, after a breakup, is why? What happened? Why did “so and so” cheat? Was I not good enough? Or, as in my mother’s case, “How can someone just fall out of love so quickly?” I told her: “Mom, it’s not your problem. Stop asking that question.”
Sure, these are natural questions and they may need answers, but I’m going to tell you that the answers to those questions aren’t going to come and you’ll drive yourself dragon-shit –crazy. Yeah, “dragon shit!” High brow stuff, kids, keep reading.
There is an inherent need to “pick up the pieces” to ask the “whys.” However, it’s important to maintain focus on ourselves and not on the person who used our heart like a kick ball. The “whys” either get answered or life renders the answers irrelevant anyway…
These were things I told my mom, of course. Then she asked me: “Son, you give really good advice.” I brushed it off, because I’m the kind of guy that gives advice to people who want to make someone break up with them. I’m the kind of guy that gives advice on how to manipulate someone into loving you… I’m a turd, but a turd that’s had his heart stomped, broken and pieced back together more than a few times over the years.
Heart break, it gives you nasty indigestion and strong bones!
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Thanks for sharing your story. Quiet an informative post.