It may still be traditional for the man to make the first move and court his fair princess. It might be ballsy, brave and attractive to be able to approach a hot chick and chat her up. Nevertheless, getting a girl to chase you remains an essential step in any courtship. Women love the thrill of the chase just as much as men.
This is especially true with the most beautiful women, who have an array of dating options handed to them on a platter. They won’t admit it, but these women want a man they had to work for – not a bloke they simply let become their boyfriend. As humans, we only really value what we have to work for.
Fancy having beautiful women chasing a relationship with you? Want them obsessing over your every word like you’re Noah from The Notebook? It only takes four simple steps.
These steps will only work if the woman is enjoying your company. Use them at high points in the interaction, after moments of laughter, sexual tension or signs of affection.
Step 1 – Give her a reason to chase
Once you've got the girl's attention, you need to get her interested. The best method is to present something of value or something of threat in your opening line. This is the carrot on your stick, so to speak. It gives her a reason to chase.
The classic example of presenting value is offering to buy a drink, although this advice is more likely to leave you out-of-pocket than in her pants. A better alternative could be a cold read. Guess something interesting about her. Most women would welcome the opportunity to learn how she's perceived by others. It could be something as simple as predicting what she likes to drink.
A diss isn't necessarily gentlemanly, but it often hooks a girl's attention, because it's a threat to her reputation. A warning about something threatening in the environment might also be an option. Obvious tip: don’t be threatening in and of yourself.
Step 2 – Give her an opportunity to chase
Now you’ve began chatting, it’s natural to chat and chat and chat, avoiding awkward silences at all costs. We can all act like this because we’re scared she’ll leave if we stop saying things.
In actual fact, it’s better to do the opposite. For the first couple of minutes, you can control the chatter, but after that make sure she plays her part. Take more pauses than normal. Put the pressure on her to keep it progressing, as if you’re the prize.
A confident man gives others the opportunity to contribute to the conversation. By all means, give the girl branches to latch on to, and fill the silence if she doesn't oblige, but definitely avoid asking questions. Questions are often just another desperate way of trying to make her stay.
Use assumptions instead. ‘Where are you from?' becomes ‘you look like you're from London.' Assumptions encourage her to ask questions. Suddenly, it's her chasing continued conversation, and that's all you're aiming for at this point.
Step 3 – Encourage her to keep chasing
Now she’s out of her shell and chasing your conversation, escalate things further.
When she asks questions, it's worth making her work a bit harder before answering.
Teasingly throw in phrases like ‘you sure you want to know?', ‘take a guess' or ‘you can't handle the answer!'
Use these sparingly though, or it becomes an annoying and obvious technique.
Step 4 – Force her into a decision
Once it’s clear she's enjoying your company, create a situation where she's forced to make the decision to either stay or leave.
Start small. See if she'll move to a different part of the bar with you. Ask her to watch your belongings while you go to the bathroom. These small acts of compliance might not seem much, but they force the girl to ask herself the question: ‘Do I like him enough to do this?’
An alternative move could involve engaging in behaviour that would normally make her leave if she wasn't so invested…Tease her. Tell her she's free to leave if she's tired. Again she's forced to ask the question: ‘Do I like him enough to stay?'
Assuming you're a cool, interesting guy and not too “outcome” dependent, the answer will be ‘Yes’. After all, most blokes struggle to even relax around a true hottie.
By complying with either of the aforementioned tricks, she's forced to admit she likes you. That has a strong psychological effect. She'll ask herself why she's been so compliant with these requests and attraction can the only answer.
Pepper these techniques in with fun, laughter and light flirting and you'll soon be getting away with requesting heavier acts of compliance, such as kisses, exchanging phone numbers or even going home together.
After all, your love story has been like a blockbuster movie thus far. And it’s likely she’ll have found it too compelling to not want to see the end.
Joe Elvin is a dating/relationships blogger based in London. His book 'The Thrill Of The Chase', which explains how to truly thrive in singledom, was published in 2017. Download the first chapter for free at eepurl.com/c-cmGP.