Ask the Urban Dater: Can’t Get a Guy to Ask Me Out Edition

Sometimes these questions bug the shit out of me… I find this question a bit on the annoying side and I'm truly convinced our readers are seriously fucking with us… In any case, I'm going to serve this up and give it the ol' college try.

I have absolutely no problem getting guys to make out with me… like none. However I have a huge problem getting them to ask me out on dates, I'm almost 21 and the only date I've ever had is to homecoming. now I'm not slutty, actually I'm a virgin and I dress like a classy young lady and all that jazz, and everybody always talks about how I have this sparkling and warm personality. If that's the case and I'm so likeable then why is it that I can't get an actual date?

Imagine that, would you. A girl who has no problems getting guys to make out with her… Hmmm. Never happens. Ever! Oh wait, guys will kiss or stick their cock in just about anything that moves for nothing more than the thrill, no matter how cheap!

Maybe you're not so damn likeable after all. Have you thought about that? No, I fucking mean it. What if you're just an average person who errs on the side of shitty-ness? It happens. You could be a legend in your own mind; you could be delusional; you could be a psychotic bitch that no one could tell anything to… That could be it. You could also be a gigantic cock-tease as well, getting guys to make out with you, but no second base; the ground rule double doesn't apply here… It could be any number of things, really.

However, I'm just going to go along with that you're  warm non-slutty and non-violent femme. STOP MAKING OUT WITH RANDOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why buy the cow when they can get the milk for free? Men are truly simple creatures; most often guided by their goddamned pecker. How do I know this? Because I am a simple creature, also guided by my humorously small pecker. If you give this sort of affection to guys without even going on a date, you're setting the wrong precedent; that you're easy and that  you're a tease… I'm sure neither of those is true, at least that's my assumption.

the Urban Dater's 5 Tips to Get a Guy to Ask You Out

1. Show your best asset(s) – If you have great legs, work em, a nice smile flash it, the same goes for your other natural attributes; but you're a classy lady, so do it in a classy non-attention grabbing kind of way. At the very least this will get a guy's attention
2. Flirt – Few things are more of a turn on than a good flirt. Good and witty back and forth banter creates good energy between two folks who may be interested in one another. Don't be afraid to flip your hair and bat those eyelashes for a cute guy.
3. Be Assertive – Sure, guys are supposed to ask you out, but they're not doing that. Why? Who knows. I don't but when you open a conversation with them, talk about what interests you, they'll listen, hear you out and may even come up with an idea that involves the two of you doing something fun together that doesn't end up in the bed sheets.
4. Gently broach your relationship status – Some guys just may not ask you out because they don't know if you're already spoken for or not. Making sure to mention that you're “on the market” I would say is useful. And you don't have to blurt it out either. You can always hint “if I had a guy to take me to…” or simply blurt “being single sucks…” I know I said you don't need to blurt, but as I said, we men are simple creatures. Every hint helps.
5. Friendships aren't always about the friendship – The old “Can men and women be friends” conundrum. While I strictly disagree that a man and woman are “just friends” in the purest sense, it doesn't mean that they can't be friends. That said, if there's a cute guy that you're friends with there's a solid chance he wants to ask you out, if he's not already taken. Why doesn't he ask you out on a date? He could just want to do you dirty between the sheets, or he just doesn't know how to. Make no mistake, though, your male friends probably find you attractive in some way. That's the first step. Getting them to act on their interest is the trick and you can “help them” realize it's their idea. Hints go a long way.

Now stop kissing randoms and go do some damn flirting, you butt-hole! This is probably where I get called a pussy (I am what I eat after all), but a man should have to work for a woman's affection. He should pursue her; he should earn that first kiss and he should demonstrate his sincerity. I truly believe those things. However, it can't be the blind leading the blind, a woman needs to, in her own way, show a man that she's interested. With that in mind, go get a fucking date already.