Ladies, are you confused by men? Join the club. Guys, stop being such a mystery! Ya big bunch o' jerks!
I was cruising around on a run the other day when I realized…now that men are demystified, I’m so much more into them. Well, don’t get me wrong, I was always into men but now I have this whole new appreciation of them. No, that isn’t it…it’s that now that they are demystified I can enjoy them so much more because I’m not intimidated by them.
Okay, I’m sure I need to explain. It goes like this:
1. Women are intimidated… think you are so cool and detached, they feel a huge gulf between the two of you
2. Huge gulf…less connection
3. Less connection…less physical connection
Okay, with less intimidation because you are demystified and they understand you….you get this:
1. Dude is demystified
2. No gulf, I know he’s like me, wants love, wants acceptance, the whole deal
3. No gulf, I am relaxed
4. I’m relaxed, we get close
5. We are close, we express it physically
Okay, that is the basic formula.
So my point is this. When I was super young…’cause I’m still “young”, just not super young…I sort of bought into the dude’s position that he was tough, could handle any and all emotions, didn’t get vulnerable to women, could handle everything and that I, alone, was the emotional bumbling mess. So how did this make me feel? Like he really had the upper hand. When a relationship is that unbalanced, it’s not great, you know. It could be better. And when the relationship is “better” and we’re really connecting, we are in this synergistic dance that is magical. It is the emotional equivalent of a finely choreographed Latin dance – the really complex kind that makes you sort of melt watching a man and a woman with sexual chemistry tease and taunt each other in that refined and delicate way. And when the emotional connection is this good, so is the physical expression of that connection. ‘Nuf said.
So, here’s the key. Help the women who don’t yet know that you too are vulnerable and can be needy and really do feel. Helping to demystify yourself to those women still fumbling around in the dark moves you closer to her and lets her move closer to you. It is a good thing…and here’s hoping you can check with her later how good it was…
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Amen! Are you the only dude who can admit this? Cmon people, step up to the plate. Time to just say and do what you mean. None of us is perfect, so why create the illusion? You too, ladies.
Great post!
My girlfriend kinda had to beat this concept into me. It was funny to me. But that's the process of dating and getting to know one another. Breaking down walls and clarifying if someone is just dense or aloof. Good stuff, Claudine.