How to Avoid Attachments in a FWB Relationship

Friends With Benefits (FWB) is a casual sex relationship (with no serious commitment) between two friends. The whole purpose of an FWB is to satisfy partner's sexual urges. However, if not performed properly, it may lead to the unpleasant break-up and dysfunctional friendship. The primary concern or repellent factor for having an FWB relationship is the attachment. Indeed, the phrase FWB is synonymous with a no-strings-attached relationship. This article is to review seven practical tips for developing fewer attachments in an FWB relationship.

1- Pick the right partner
While you are picking your sex partners, it is better to find someone who is not too attractive. Also, stay away from partners who have not had hook-up experience before, or even worse have not been in a relationship before (being technically virgin). Make sure to communicate your intents and expectations for the casual sex before doing anything with your partner.

2- Stay busy with career and hobbies
One of the pros of having FWB relationship is that it saves you lots of time; hence, you can stay focus on your career and enjoy your hobbies. I personally enjoy the freedom that comes with FWB as though I would do what I want, go where I want, have fun when I want. In other words, it makes the task of striking the balance between the personal and professional life easier. In short, FWB means to meet with your friend for 2-3 hours per week for having sex-identical to what you do in a hook-up with a stranger.

3- Avoid the romantic language
To avoid attachments, it is better to watch your mouth and not to use the trigger romantic words that are normally used in a serious relationship such as baby, honey, etc. As always, it takes practice to master a non-romantic communications.

4- Watch for romantic acts
It is very important to watch for your romantic or sexual acts that convey your love to your partner such as eye contact, oversleeping, hugging, kissing, orgasm, etc.

5- Have a binding agreement
Instead of verbal agreement, it is better to have a binding contract that surveys key terms of your engagement. That way, if one partner develops attachment, the other partner has the right to terminate FWB. Read my other article (10 Rules For Friends With Benefits) for details.

6- Have hook-up-oriented mentality
It is very important to understand that any FWB relationship has the 3-6 month expiration date. The longer an FWB engagement, the higher the chance of attachment will be. As such, since there is no commitment in an FWB, always keep your outside options open. To have a hook-up-oriented mentality is to admire that variety is the spice of life.

7- Have multiple FWB partners
One interesting aspect of FWB is that you can keep your engagement in a low profile; thus, it gives you an opportunity to be in FWB with multiple partners at the same time. I suggest having 2-4 sex partners for your FWB. Having multiple partners will significantly help you to practice your sexual skills while reducing the chance of forming attachments.

Now that you know what it takes to avoid developing attachments in an FWB relationship, it is time to put above tips into practice and enjoy your single life. Indeed, having organized FWB relationships will result in a personal, professional, and emotional satisfaction and ultimately lead to self-fulfillment of both partners.

Photo Credit: Volkan Olmez, who reminds us all that c-section babies are your best friends.

Matt Zand

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