Why George Clooney Was Never Going To Marry You

George Clooney ended his bachelor days on 27th September, 2014.

This is a feat of enormous proportions considering Clooney started swearing off marriage in 1995 to Barbara Walters and repeated this stance ( like a broken record) to Vanity Fair, the British Sunday People, Esquire, and to Piers Morgan. He finally declared to The Express, “I keep saying I’ll never get married again or have children but people just don’t want to believe me.”

I’m sure so many of you dreamed of being George Clooney’s wife. Alas, Amal came in the picture and shattered that dream into a million little pieces. I know the thought may be depressing and you would be apt to hate her. But before you do, let me give you five reasons why the chances of it being you and not her were slim.

1. George Clooney was never interested in completing a woman. He was seeking a person who was already whole and not waiting for him to sprinkle ‘The George Clooney Fairy Dust’ that would thrust meaning into their life. Or give them a career.

So if you are sited at home dreaming a guy will come, sweep you off your feet in exchange for your looks and very little or no investment in yourself, he was probably not the man for you. Amal has 2 degrees of Law from respected institutions and her career as an international lawyer is blazing hot. I do not see her on “Dancing With The Stars” anytime soon.

1. How does a woman turn the tables on George Clooney, a perpetual commitment phobe and make him want her badly? Amal Clooney must have played a game George had never seen before. The ‘game’ mentioned here has been laid out by numerous books, my two favorite being “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” by Steve Harvey and “All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

To quote Steve Harvey: “I'm sure that if a woman laid out the rules- requirements- early on, and let her intended know that he could either rise up to those requirements, or just move on. A directive like that signals to a man that you are not a plaything-someone to be used and discarded. It tells him that what you have- your benefits- are special, and that you need time to get to know him and his ways to decide if he DESERVES them.”

The gist of the books is that men respond to a woman raising her standards and making them “work” for you. Old fashioned and not relevant to our times, you may say, but this is what I once said until my ex boyfriend, a self made Dubai millionaire with incredible smarts and business acumen broke up with me saying, “I was boring:”

I’m not even boring!

But when I met him, my whole life revolved around him, pleasing him, and making him think my whole purpose of being born was to be his wife and by doing so, boring him to tears.

Although you cannot take everything you read in a book as the actual truth, there are pieces and pointers that you can pick up and apply to your life. In my case, my ex needed me to carry out the rules to the letter to keep him remotely interested.

1. Do you over share on social media? George Clooney totally hates that. He famously ranted to Esquire in a December 2013 interview, “Why on God's green earth would you be on Twitter? Amal allegedly cancelled her twitter account.

2. Are you aware the social imprint you leave on the internet tells a lot about you? There are pages upon pages of seriously dumb tweets. The latest being about ebola. Case in point “Is Ebola a country?” by @ash_trayz.

3. Finally, if you don’t know what, who or where Darfur is, the chances of George Clooney marrying you were ever so slim. I’ll give you two clues…..it’s not a disease like ebola, it’s not an African President’s name.

Darfur is a region in Sudan, an African country. In February 2003, a conflict began which claimed the lives of 300,000 lives as a result of ethnic cleansing, disease and starvation. 2.5 million people were displaced. Basically there are Arabs and non Arabs who were fighting each other. The Arabs were represented by the Sudanese police and military and some bad crazy guys called the Janjaweed. Two rebel groups (JEM and SLMA) fought for the non Arabs.

Anyway, George Clooney was involved in trying to stop this conflict and did a lot of things to this end; meeting and writing to Presidents and governments, writing an article on the Washington Post, speaking in a rally, and making one documentary about Darfur, co producing another and appearing in a third. Amal is an international human rights lawyer; so involvement in global human rights issues is something that the couple shares.

So there, you have it. Amal Clooney deserves to be Amal Clooney. As for you, stop day dreaming,  invest in yourself, learn “The Rules” and make yourself a catch to someone.

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Anita King

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I'm a Kenyan living in Sweden with a sorta new blog. I like kittens, the gym, fashion and writing. Can trade articles for tech help for my blog:)