• About
  • Connect
  • Services
  • Advertise
  • Urban Dater on Twitter
  • Urban Dater on Facebook
  • Subscribe to the Urban Dater RSS Feed
  • Urban Dater on Instagram
Explore Close
Menu Close

Categories

Dating & RelationshipsOnline DatingTips & AdviceRelationshipsFor MenAsidesSelfSexFor WomenOpinionDates & DetailsFeaturedUncategorizedDate IdeasSpecialAdvertDating SitesQuestions and AnswersFashionNews

Tags

DatingRelationshipsOnline DatingSexloveadvicedating advicerelationshipdating tipssinglefirst datewomenrelationship adviceromancevalentines dayFor WomendatesFor Menmenobservations

Archives

January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019
  • Online Dating
    • Dating Apps
    • Dates & Details
    • For Women
    • For Men
  • Dating & Relationships
    • Fashion
    • Opinion
    • Self
    • Tips & Advice
  • Ask the Urban Dater
  • Sex
    • Adult Dating
    • BDSM
    • Better Sex
    • LGBTQ
    • Love
    • Sexting
  • Write for Us!
  • About
  • Connect
  • Services
  • Advertise
  • Urban Dater on Twitter
  • Urban Dater on Facebook
  • Subscribe to the Urban Dater RSS Feed
  • Urban Dater on Instagram

the Urban Dater

A Blog About Online Dating, Relationships & Sex

  • Online Dating
    • Dating Apps
    • Dates & Details
    • For Women
    • For Men
  • Dating & Relationships
    • Fashion
    • Opinion
    • Self
    • Tips & Advice
  • Ask the Urban Dater
  • Sex
    • Adult Dating
    • BDSM
    • Better Sex
    • LGBTQ
    • Love
    • Sexting
  • Write for Us!
Close
NextThe Gold Digger & the Sucker.
  • Explore
  • Menu
  • Menu
OpinionRelationships

Bring on the Boxing Gloves.

truedw on April 8, 2009
Share This Article
Facebook3Tweet0Pin0

Any time you are in a relationship, it is bound to happen. You will have a disagreement. The first instance can range from a very minor argument to a full on, knock-down, drag-out fight. The first fight is a very important one. It can either cause you to break up, or can help you actually become a true couple.

The first fight a couple has is usually over something rather minor. It comes in the form of a disagreement over expectations that one party has that the other is not meeting. Usually this happens because the people involved do not know each other well enough to know exactly what kind of expectations the other has.

Often times, if this first disagreement comes too early in a relationship, neither party is willing to actually discuss what needs to be discussed to work through the issue. Or, one party or the other is not vested enough in the relationship to put forth the effort that it requires to actually listen to another person's concerns, and possibly even admit that they have done something wrong. However, if there is indeed a vested interest, and both parties are willing actually discuss the problem, often times it can actually help make the relationship stronger.

A first argument can only be successful if some very basic rules are followed. First, it is very imperative that the problem be discussed in the least confrontational method possible. If one party “attacks” the other in an accusatory manner, the one being attacked may determine that the other person is not worth all of this hassle. After all, we tend to be on our best behavior when a relationship is still new. If they are attacking in the beginning, what will happen a year from now when the newness has worn off? No one wants to stay with “that guy”.

The second key is that you must try to leave emotion out of the equation as much as possible. This is very difficult, considering it is often hurt feelings that have caused the argument in the first place. But, if both parties are able to keep an open mind and think in a logical manner, a calm, rational discussion can take place, resulting in a far better outcome for both parties.

Third, it is important that both parties keep an open mind as to their role in the misunderstanding. Both parties must be willing to apologize if it is necessary. Even if one person is the “wrongdoer,” the other party may have been partly to blame as well, possibly by not effectively communicating what exactly they want and need. They may also have helped instigate the problem without even knowing it. Often in an argument there is not just one person who is completely to blame. If both parties are willing to accept responsibility for their part in the problem, there is a much better chance that the end result will be favorable to everyone involved.

In the end, a fight does not have to be the end. It can help a new couple learn how to communicate more effectively with each other. It can help define boundaries and expectations. And it helps show the layer below our best face that we always put forward in the beginning. Or, it can show that two people were truly not meant to be, as their expectations are radically different, or they have different ways of communicating that do not mesh. It can also show an ugly side of a person that is simply not tolerable. But, if both parties are willing to put forth just a little effort, it can actually bring them just a little closer together.

Signup for Our Newsletter

Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox…
Follow @theurbandater



Share This Article
Facebook3Tweet0Pin0
  • Posted in: Opinion, Relationships
  • Tagged in: advice, arguing, Dating, Relationships

Posted by truedw

All Posts
Leave a comment Hide comments

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Popular

  • 8 Things to Say to Your Ex Who You Still Love
  • A Girl doesn’t Text Back – Use These Texts Instead Of leaving Her Alone
  • What to Say to a Girl You Just Met
  • Men Who Give You Their Number Instead of Taking Yours. ~ Group Post.
  • 7 Tips on How to Give Your Partner Great Phone Sex
  • 3 Questions To Ask Yourself After 3 Months of Dating
  • Why Does He Want to be Friends if He Doesn’t Want to Date You?
  • How to Scratch Someone’s back
  • Seven Things You Should Be Looking For By The Fifth Date
  • Letters to Lovers Lost

Signup for Our Newsletter

Online Dating, Sex and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox...
Follow @theurbandater

Previous
The Gold Digger & the Sucker.
April 5, 2009
Next
Dating a Single Mother. Should You Do It?
April 9, 2009

Let’s Socialize

  • Urban Dater on Twitter
  • Urban Dater on Facebook
  • Subscribe to the Urban Dater RSS Feed
  • Urban Dater on Instagram

General Bullshit

  • About
  • Disclosure Statement
  • Legal
  • Guest Posting
  • Terms and Conditions for Contributors

Archives by Month

© 2021 the Urban Dater by DigiSavvy, Inc. — Proudly Hosted on WP Engine —
  • Urban Dater on Twitter
  • Urban Dater on Facebook
  • Subscribe to the Urban Dater RSS Feed
  • Urban Dater on Instagram
Opinion

Bring on the Boxing Gloves.

by truedw time to read: 2 min
Opinion Dating a Single Mother. Should You Do It?
Asides The Gold Digger & the Sucker.
0