Why I’m on JDate

I don’t want to say that I’m desperate. But I am. After a bad break-up, one in which my ex is already engaged with his new girlfriend (they announced it as a hashtag on her Instagram about a month after we broke-up. Yeah, I date real classy people), and the outside temperature has been below zero for the last two months, you’d be willing to do anything to cuddle with a warm body too.
I’ve tried all of them. OkCupid, eHarmony, Match, Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, Hinge, How About We, Plenty of Fish, Alikewise, and Sparkology. I think my mom registered me for 2RedBeans, but I don’t really know what that is since it’s in Chinese. Once in a while I get a photo of some nice looking Asian guy in my inbox. What’s next? FarmersOnly?
My Jewish friends have been telling me to join JDate for years. I rejected the notion because I felt like a predator—an Asian girl hunting for all the single Jewish men in the continental US. What would I write on my profile? “Not Jewish. See photo. Willing to convert.”
What would they think? “She’s not of our kind!”
Two years later and still single (not by choice! I’m happy if you’re enjoying singlehood. It’s empowering, but I’m ready to find my partner), I complained to my friend over dinner on Chinese New Year. “I just can’t bear this winter anymore!” Abby, who is Jewish, good-humouredly suggested, over baskets of steaming soup dumplings, that I should join JDate. Instead of trying to convince me, she asked, “Why not? What do you have to lose?”
Everything! My dignity. My brain paused for a nanosecond. Wait, what dignity?
“You know, my sister-in-law is Chinese. My brother has always liked Asian girls. Even in kindergarten, he would always pick the Asian girl to sit next to. Why not try?” Abby advocated.
I do love Seder.
“Why not?”
That night, after racing home in bone chilling temperatures, I registered for JDate. A three-month subscription for $89.97.
The website is not the most user-friendly. The photo requirements are a pain in the butt and outdated. Who has the time to resize and re-pixilate their photos? Any update requires preapproval. But I did it! I’m being proactive about finding love.
A month later, when other girlfriends find out that I’m on JDate, I find myself explaining or rehashing Abby’s logic. I field questions like, “Did you write on your profile that you’re not Jewish?” or patronizing comments like “I often see Asian women with Jewish men.”
I counter with, “At least we would have nagging moms in common.” Some friends can be a little judgy. They’ll say “You’re on JDate!” as an insult.
I’m okay with it. Sometimes I’m a little insecure, but in my head I’m saying, “Imma do what I wanna do.”
I haven’t had any dates yet. I think only 25 men have looked at my profile in three months. Abby has volunteered her help. Maybe you should too. Anyway, I’m opening myself to love, and that’s all I can do. I’m open-minded; I hope that he is too.

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Charlotte LeTan

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Charlotte LeTan is an aviation engineer turned writer. She hopes to become graceful one accident at a time.