• About
  • Connect
  • Services
  • Advertise
  • Urban Dater on Twitter
  • Urban Dater on Facebook
  • Subscribe to the Urban Dater RSS Feed
  • Urban Dater on Instagram
Explore Close
Menu Close

Categories

Dating & RelationshipsOnline DatingTips & AdviceRelationshipsFor MenAsidesSelfSexFor WomenOpinionDates & DetailsFeaturedUncategorizedDate IdeasSpecialAdvertDating SitesQuestions and AnswersFashionNews

Tags

DatingRelationshipsOnline DatingSexloveadvicedating advicerelationshipdating tipssinglefirst datewomenrelationship advicevalentines dayromanceFor WomendatesFor Menmenobservations

Archives

March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 February 2020
  • Online Dating
    • Dating Apps
    • Dates & Details
    • For Women
    • For Men
  • Dating & Relationships
    • Fashion
    • Opinion
    • Self
    • Tips & Advice
  • Ask the Urban Dater
  • Sex
    • Adult Dating
    • BDSM
    • Better Sex
    • LGBTQ
    • Love
    • Sexting
  • Write for Us!
  • About
  • Connect
  • Services
  • Advertise
  • Urban Dater on Twitter
  • Urban Dater on Facebook
  • Subscribe to the Urban Dater RSS Feed
  • Urban Dater on Instagram

the Urban Dater

A Blog About Online Dating, Relationships & Sex

  • Online Dating
    • Dating Apps
    • Dates & Details
    • For Women
    • For Men
  • Dating & Relationships
    • Fashion
    • Opinion
    • Self
    • Tips & Advice
  • Ask the Urban Dater
  • Sex
    • Adult Dating
    • BDSM
    • Better Sex
    • LGBTQ
    • Love
    • Sexting
  • Write for Us!
Close
NextCan’t Find Love? This Might Be Why.
  • Explore
  • Menu
  • Menu
Online Dating

Dating over Zoom? Don’t be surprised if those online sparks fizzle in person

the Urban Dater Contributor on June 2, 2020
Share This Article
Facebook15Tweet0Pin0

For those dipping their toes into the dating pool during stay-at-home orders, it’s been like swimming in a version of Netflix’s reality series “Love is Blind.”

In the show, contestants must get engaged before ever actually meeting one another in person. And while a lockdown engagement might be a bit extreme, it’s entirely possible that two people have grown to really like one another over the previous weeks and months. Maybe it started with a match on a dating app, followed by flirting over text. Then came regularly scheduled Zoom dates. Perhaps they’ve even started envisioning a future together.

Now, as states start to ease restrictions, some may have broached taking the next step: an in-person rendezvous.

What are the chances that their online connection will lead to true love?

In my book, “The Science of Kissing,” I describe how compatibility requires engaging all of our senses. And absent the touch, taste and smell of a potential partner, people dating online during quarantine have essentially been flying blind.

Muzzled neurotransmitters

Human attraction involves the influence of cues that evolved over millions of years.

On a traditional date in a restaurant or move theater, we actively gather details about someone by walking side by side, holding hands, hugging and – if things get far enough – kissing. These experiences send neural impulses between the brain and body, stimulating tiny chemical messengers that affect how we feel. When two people are a good match, hormones and neurotransmitters bring about the sensations we might describe as being on a natural high or experiencing the exhilaration of butterflies. Finding love isn’t rocket science – it’s anatomy, endocrinology and real chemistry.

One of the most important neurotransmitters involved in influencing our emotions is dopamine, responsible for craving and desire. This natural drug can be promoted through physical intimacy and leads to the addictive nature of a new relationship. Of course, dopamine is just one player in a chemical symphony that motivates behavior. Intimate encounters also promote the release of oxytocin, which creates a sense of attachment and affection, and epinephrine, which boosts our heart rate and reduces stress. There’s also a decrease in serotonin, which can lead to obsessive thoughts and feelings about the other person.

In fact, one study showed that people who report that they’ve just “fallen in love” have levels of serotonin similar to patients suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. This chemical cocktail can even lead to trouble sleeping or a loss of appetite – symptoms people often attribute to meeting “the one.”

Our noses also play a powerful role in who we fall for. The famous “sweaty t-shirt experiment” reported that a man’s natural scent may influence how women choose a partner. The women in the study nearly always expressed a preference for the odor of men who differed genetically from them in immune response to disease. Scientists theorize that selecting someone with genetic diversity in this region, called the major histocompatibility complex, could be important for producing children with flexible and versatile immune systems.

A kiss can make or break it

While a man’s natural scent may not be something women consciously notice early on in a heterosexual relationship, getting up close and personal can serve as a kind of litmus test for a couple. A kiss puts two people nose to cheek, offering a reliable sample of smell and taste unrivaled by most other courtship rituals. Perhaps that’s one reason a 2007 University of Albany study reported that 59% of men and 66% of women have broken off a budding romance because of a bad first kiss.

Complicating matters, factors that typically grab our attention in person are less obvious to recognize in a witty profile or photo. Studies of online dating behavior reveal superficial features are correlated with the level of interest an individual receives. For example, short-haired women do not tend to get as much attention from men as those with long, straight hair, while men who report a height of six-foot-three or six-foot-four fare better than their peers at interacting with women. The initial focus on appearance promotes pairing based on characteristics that aren’t significant in lasting relationships, compared with more important factors for long-term compatibility, like intimacy and shared experiences.

Still, at a time when many of us are feeling more isolated than ever, online dating does offer some benefits. Quarantine has encouraged men and women to take additional time to learn about each other prior to meeting, sparing the anxiety of rushed physical intimacy.

For some couples, a real-world date will kindle the spark that began online. Many others will realize they’re better suited as friends.

[You need to understand the coronavirus pandemic, and we can help. Read The Conversation’s newsletter.]

The Conversation

Sheril Kirshenbaum is affiliated with Science Debate.


Read the original article here — https://theconversation.com/dating-over-zoom-dont-be-surprised-if-those-online-sparks-fizzle-in-person-138899

Photo Credit — Let's not get ahead of ourselves… Peter Dazeley/The Image Bank via Getty Images

Signup for Our Newsletter

Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox…
Follow @theurbandater



Share This Article
Facebook15Tweet0Pin0
  • Posted in: Online Dating
  • Tagged in: zoom

Posted by the Urban Dater Contributor

the Urban Dater is a content rich platform with plenty of opportunities for exposure for aspiring writers and bloggers. Also, we have many advertising opportunities for advertisers and publishers. Contact us, for more info!

All Posts
Leave a comment Hide comments

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Popular

  • 8 Things to Say to Your Ex Who You Still Love
  • A Girl doesn’t Text Back – Use These Texts Instead Of leaving Her Alone
  • What to Say to a Girl You Just Met
  • Men Who Give You Their Number Instead of Taking Yours. ~ Group Post.
  • 7 Tips on How to Give Your Partner Great Phone Sex
  • 3 Questions To Ask Yourself After 3 Months of Dating
  • Why Does He Want to be Friends if He Doesn’t Want to Date You?
  • How to Scratch Someone’s back
  • Seven Things You Should Be Looking For By The Fifth Date
  • Letters to Lovers Lost

Signup for Our Newsletter

Online Dating, Sex and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox...
Follow @theurbandater

Previous
Can’t Find Love? This Might Be Why.
May 28, 2020
Next
Fit and in Love-14 Reasons to work out as a couple
June 7, 2020

Let’s Socialize

  • Urban Dater on Twitter
  • Urban Dater on Facebook
  • Subscribe to the Urban Dater RSS Feed
  • Urban Dater on Instagram

General Bullshit

  • About
  • Disclosure Statement
  • Legal
  • Guest Posting
  • Terms and Conditions for Contributors

Archives by Month

© 2021 the Urban Dater by DigiSavvy, Inc. — Proudly Hosted on WP Engine —
  • Urban Dater on Twitter
  • Urban Dater on Facebook
  • Subscribe to the Urban Dater RSS Feed
  • Urban Dater on Instagram
Online Dating

Dating over Zoom? Don’t be surprised if those online sparks fizzle in person

by the Urban Dater Contributor time to read: 3 min
Online Dating What Makes a Great Online Dating Profile?
Online Dating Porn use is up, thanks to the pandemic
0