Okay. First off, I don't really believe that this is the case, I think that we men NEED our female friends. They're not only great to gawk at and pine over from afar… Oh, wait. Never mind that wasn't going to be a good point.
Anyway, it's something that's come up in discussion recently and I thought I'd write about it. Also, Moxie did a nifty piece on the subject that I suggest you read on the topic of a man and his harem of women friends. Now, what do I think about that?So a couple of the points made are generalities and certainly don't apply to all. If they did I'd be untrustworthy and insecure; and don't you go believing that, even if my mom tells you as much! Just kidding. My mom loves me and says I'm a saint and menace to the hood.
If we consider the extreme end of this behavior, men who horde a gaggle of female only friends, then there might be a problem, he may be untrustworthy and needs his ego stroked… figuratively and literally speaking.
In my case, I do have a high number of female friends and it's actually something I'm proud of because it means that I know how to appeal to women and put them at ease, on the other hand I have been known to make friends of women I wanted to bang. So there's a downside, too. The key is “finding the balance in being sweet, attentive and if we're alone for too long I will f*ck the living hell out of you, make you cry about it only to come back for seconds…” But that's not what this is about, you see.
I started objectively looking at myself and why I had this high volume of female friends. More importantly, is it going to be a problem in my relationship now or down the road?
I asked the girlfriend her thoughts on this and I believe she said something like:
“The Urban Dater! If I have to see one more of these bitches, I am going to rip her head off, take it to the next World Cup game and kick a goal with it, like, seven times.” She maniacally laughed and chirped, “Just kidding, babe. My natural instinct is to be concerned, especially if I haven't met them.”
That seems fair enough, she only needs to meet my female friends and things are all shades of hunk dory right? I've also been told that when a woman is insecure that it's something that the guy did that was wrong. Nice. Obviously I don't subscribe to that line of thinking.
Transparency in most things is key. So if you find yourself with a bunch of female friends, don't hide them; talk about them (careful not to over do it and don't talk about their lady bits, just tell your partner you think your female friends all look like Gretchen, from Benson if you're too young to know, I really am THAT old).
Until next time, kids, don't be trying to make your girl have a threesome with you, you will fail! IF you don't fail, please let me know how you accomplished that!
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Huh. Are women generally that opposed to her guy having female friends? It doesn't bother me, but then again, I've dated two gay guys. I worry more about their guy friends….
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Win a copy of new dating book “He’s Just Not Your Type”! =-.
I think the primary issue here is transparency. As long as a guy isn't hiding his female friends and is up front, then there really isn't an issue, regardless of whether or not the gf ever meets the offending female friend.
Your girlfriend is spot on, I think. What most of us need is transparency. As long I know of the female friends, as long as I've met them, and as long as I know what's going on, I couldn't care less. In fact, I can even get on really well with them and may steal them for myself.
.-= Man-shopper´s last blog ..Ms. Perv-Magnet =-.
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