Who doesn’t want a big-screen romance? The kind that Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes could star in, that becomes a date night standby for new couples and a breakup cry movie for girls everywhere; sounds magical, doesn’t it?
Of course, love in the movies—as we all know—isn’t “real” love. It’s crafted to make the viewer believe that failing in love is always that easy… even when things aren’t easy leading up to, and even sometimes during.
For instance, in the movies, cheating is forgiven for the sake of true love. Distance never gets in the way, and “getting the girl” is paramount to everything else, like having a job or upholding friendships.
The way I see it, there’s a lot to learn about love from the movies, but most of it is what not to do in your real-world romances.
Jerks Don’t Change
My biggest pet-peeve with movie love is that lots of jerks tend to come out on top. An apology, some roses, and turn of phrase along the lines of, “It didn’t mean anything!” or “It will never happen again!” tends to change the tune of the anyone who’s been the subject of an idiot in a movie, and we’re all supposed to say, “Awww,” feel good, and go home happy.
However, in the real world, cheating on your partner or being a jerk is unforgivable. More importantly, it’s a personality trait that doesn’t just disappear with an apology. Once a jerk, always a jerk. And that’s the real-world truth.
A healthy, happy life is one where you respect yourself, and according to the beyond diet community, respecting yourself starts with loving yourself. If you’re with someone who’s strayed or doesn't respect you, you need to muster the self-respect and self-love to kick them to the curb.
This isn’t Hollywood; it’s your life. And you deserve it to be a happy one.
Happy Ending? How About A Happy Story
True love doesn't just end well, it plays out well from start to finish. We’re taught by movie love that the trials and tribulations of courtship are worth the pain as long as everything ties up nicely in the end, but that’s not the way the real world of romance works.
All might be fair in love and war, but that’s not to say that love and war should feel similar. Love should make you feel good, happy, and fulfilled. Once it—or the person giving it to you—stops doing that, it’s time to move on.
If a situation makes you unhappy, chances are it will continue to do so. Don’t stay in a relationship that feels doomed just because you believe in fate; get out before it’s too late.
The movies don’t get it all wrong when it comes to love– one thing that movie romance has spot-on is timing. I think there’s no better time than right now to pursue who and what you love, and in the movies, people do exactly that.
If a guy wants to ask out a girl, he does if. If a girl needs to confess her love for her best guy friend, she goes for it. It should be like that in the real world, too.
Seizing the moment is something we could all learn to do a little better. The Truth About Abs reviews, which overview the benefits of a successful diet-and-exercise regime, draw a nice parallel here.
Working out to get in shape is hard work. So is falling in love. But when you’re exercising, do you wait until you see a change in the mirror to go for another run, do a few more rounds of squats, or lift weights for another hour?
No. You seize the moment and exercise, even if you’re not seeing the benefit yet. So, too, should you approach love.
If you feel the need to give love—to your partner, someone you’re interested in, or even just a friend or family member—do it. A hug, a kiss, a complement, whatever you have the urge to express, that urge is right and you should act on it.
About Dr. Mike Tremba
Dr Mike is a writer, publisher, and of course, past (pre-marriage) dater. He can usually be found on the great beaches of Southern Alabama, or somewhere outside getting exercise. Through the failures he's had (as well as the successes), he loves sharing his tips on making life more enjoyable.