“Mom, Dad, I need to you do me a favor. I need you to start living as if I’m never going to get married. I need you to stop thinking about me having kids, okay? I’d rather be single forever than marry someone just to get married. I’d rather be single my whole life than settling for someone just so I’m not alone.”
I grew up in a pretty conservative family. My dad literally asked my guy friends at our college graduation when they were going to get married. Embarrassing much? So it should come as no surprise to you that I loved being in love starting at an early age. And it should come as no surprise that the words I spoke to my parents at age 27 (above) broke their hearts.
At the time those words were spoken it was almost two years after my engagement had gone awry. And it was those words that literally helped me become irresistible to most men and helped me be the happiest single woman EVER.
Let me explain.
What I didn’t realize as I spoke those words is that I finally took all the pressure off myself. I made it my goal to make every day as fun as I possibly could as a single woman. And even when I dated, if I knew he wasn’t the one, I’d have as much fun getting to know this strange man because we were together! And when I got sick of not finding the one, I’d stop dating and go back to enjoying my freaking life!
WHO CARES if the guy I was on a date with had bad body odor. What things could I LEARN from this stinky man? Who cares if this guy only ever wanted to meet for drinks. What were their good qualities? What DID I like about them? What could I learn about MYSELF.
There was a point in time where I just became FINE with who I was, fine with where I was at, and fine with having no clue where I was going with the ultimate goal of just having FUN. NO MOMENT was spent unhappy. I worked tirelessly on learning about what ACTUALLY makes relationships last as opposed to what the movies and our fake friends make us believe. And you know what? I took it one step further. I wasn’t just fine with who I was, I fucking LOVED who I was. And god help anyone that didn’t.
The moment I realized I was (and AM) the love of my life and started living life that way, I became irresistible to a lot of people. Not only that! I had more fun than I ever imagined. The year I spoke those words I became brave enough to be REAL about my own issues and work through them. I embraced all my imperfections and owned them in front of my dates! And that helped most of them own theirs in front of me. There is something so refreshing about just enjoying someone’s presence in all their imperfect glory and just laugh with each other about it. I got a tattoo, I went skydiving, took a trip by myself, got “ballsy” at work, and learned to enjoy every moment…
So for all the single people in the world. This year as you make your plans for New Years Eve (if you don’t have any go make some fucking awesome plans, people) realize that you already have the LOVE of your life in your life – YOU. Make a pact to yourself to make something out of this time you have. Do things you love, treat yourself, and make a fucking effort to enjoy EVERY person you meet no matter how strange they may seem. Listen to your gut more, keep your ego in check, and make every moment count. Don’t have anyone to kiss this new years eve? GOOD, suck it to the man! You still have you. And YOU are FUCKING AMAZING.
“Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.” ~Ida Scott Taylor