Women Tell Us How To Properly Ask Women Out
Last week I surveyed some of my female friends about how they like to be asked out. I queried them on what makes one approach different from the next, and what tips they have for men asking women out. I received a ton of responses, and have slowly started pulling out the relevant data to help you guys get more dates, the proper way.
We all know that that attraction and chemistry play a HUGE role in whether someone is likely to go out with you. It's also a fact that HOW you approach and ask someone out will affect whether they say yes or no. Keep reading to find out how to properly ask women out.
5 things you should be doing to have women respond to your date requests.
1. Be specific
A lot of guys say “We should hang out sometime.” To me that's a way of being vague, and pre-asking in order to gauge interest.
I like to be asked out to do a specific thing, at a specific time and on a specific date. Something tangible. For example:”Let's do X on Friday at 6:00.”
2. Be curious
Why would I go on a date with someone that knows zero about me? Why do they want to spend time with me if they have no idea who I am? Chat me up and find out why you want to spend some time together, the answer could be as simple as ‘you seem pretty rad', but at least you know where you're coming from.
3. Be original
I hate invitations to a cafe or a bar. No, I want to go to neither on a first date. Call me old fashioned, I think it's lame. I enjoy being asked to join on something you actually have on your cup list (like a no pressure bucket list but for the upcoming week or month) that you'll enjoy regardless of how the date goes. The idea of sharing an experience with someone is more appealing to me.
– Andy (again!)
4. Be direct
Ask for what you want. I would much prefer that someone says, “Hey, would you like to go on a date?” Then I don't have to guess if it's coffee-as-friends or coffee-as-a-date. Get that shit clear brah!! “Are you single?” is nice too, as it implies your intention and opens up the discussion that you have to eventually have anyway if you're both interested.
– Natalie #2
5. Be understanding
If I had one thing to suggest, don't take rejection personally! Certain things are appealing but chemistry is a funny elusive thing and it cannot be predicted.
– Natalie #1
We live in a world with a lame dynamic that tells guys to just keep being persistent when women say no. So, I call on all those being asked out to give grown-ass replies (yes/no/maybe/let me think about that). And I call on all those asking people out to respect these grown-ass replies! We owe it to one another to say what we mean!
– Natalie #2
Look, these suggestions are great, and they're a move in the right direction. Not every person is going to react the same way, but being open, honest, direct, and kind never hurt anyone. These are great steps to start incorporating in your daily life right now, that will make a difference in how women respond to you.
Stay tuned for more of these articles, as I'm continuously compiling more and more responses from women about how to properly ask them out.
If you want more descriptive ways on how to properly ask women out, download my free 10 page report on Asking Women Out
Shaun Galanos is the host and producer of The Love Drive. He lives, drives, and writes in San Francisco, CA.
Shaun is a San Francisco dating coach, and host of The Love Drive. He strives to answer today’s questions on sex, love, romance, and dating.
He rarely holds back and often lets his clients know exactly what he thinks. He is passionate about why people do what they do, how they fall in love, why sex is the way sex is, and everything in between.
He’s been described by many of his female friends as borderline creepy, and that’s OK with him.