I am closing on my late twenties in a couple years and I took some time off to reflect on what I did right, and what I did wrong in my dating life in my twenties. One of the best things I did for myself was to understand psychology, dating and relationships on a deeper level.
Do not Trade Money or Status for Affection
You may be tempted to trade money or social status for love and affection. This is why people pursue certain life choices. Such as taking a degree just to get into that high paying job, or starting a career they dislike just to impress others.
Yes, money and status works. If you were rich and came from a prestigious family background, it all helps. It makes dating much easier. However, you’re not building a true skillset. You’re not building up your social skills. You still do not understand what attracts women.
You want to look for unconditional relationships in your long term relationships. Yes, money and success can be an initial motivator for someone to be in a relationship with you, but you’ll need other values such as connection, respect and trust above material success for a long term relationship to succeed.
Learn Social Skills
I didn’t come from a wealthy background, in fact I came from a financially stressful background. It forced me to innovate and learn social skills ground up. It taught me how to tease, how to flirt, how to start conversations with the opposite sex on the go without relying on money or social status (because I had none).
I took the same resilience and social skills I built through my dating life and built a business. The compounding effects of going through hardship and putting yourself out there is going to reflect in other areas of your life.
Imagine if you had it easy from day one. You had it all given to you. And one day, disaster strikes you’re left with nothing. Will you have the tenacity and ability to build your life up back to where it was?
If your girlfriend dumped you overnight, can you go out and find another partner? If your business fails, can you adjust and pivot? If your friends grow up apart from you, can you find and connect with other like-minded individuals and communities?
Be Reliable and be Competent
Reliability, accountability is going to determine how competent you are. If you built negative habits of sloth during your twenties, it’s going to compound against you in your thirties.
The little things make a whole world of difference. Little habits such as being punctual and delivering on what you’re discharged to do is what separates false confidence from true confidence.
Forget the bravado of looking cool on social media or at the club. The truly confident individual is focused on himself. He discharges his duties reliability and with competency.
The arduous process of self-improvement, building up social skills sets and developing reliability and competency is going to pay off a lot more in the long run. This is how you walk the narrow road of being an truly attractive man in your twenties.