Should Ladies Call Men After the First Date?

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Should a Woman call a Man?

Does anyone use a phone like this anymore? I didn’t think so either.

So there is this good-looking guy that you met the other day at a party, college or church. You can’t help thinking about him. He has shown some considerable interest in you. And it seems as if one thing is instinctively leading to another. He even singles you out and enjoys chatting for a moment whenever there’s an opportunity. In fact, every time you turn, your eyes meet. And he has even asked for your phone number. But he hasn’t called yet and you are keeping your fingers closed, nervously. Every time your phone rings you hope he’s the one on the other side. I bet you are debating whether to hold your horse or to break the ice and call him first. Definitely you are not the only one in such a situation. Many women wonder whether it’s right for ladies to call men after the first date or should they wait until guys do it first.

Well, we all agree that there is that speculative moment when you really don’t know what he’s thinking about you, wondering whether he’s planning to ask you out for a more elaborate date than those casual encounters. And calling him can be a bit creepy and tricky too, especially when you don’t know what he’d think about your initiative. You also don’t want to look desperate before a man, something almost all ladies hate with a passion. It’s important for a lady to wait until the guy makes those bold initial steps like making that first call.

But that doesn’t mean that ladies shouldn’t entirely make the first move to call men. If you are persuaded that he’s really interested in you then you should go ahead and make the initiative. Because all men are not the same – there are those who like calling women that they like immediately they have their phone numbers. And there are those who want to wait until they have an impeccable reason and opportunity to do so. You should also know that some guys are too shy to make instant moves – like calling a beautiful woman the same day after asking for her telephone number.

Here is a way ladies can indeed call men first and get away with it. If you eventually decide to be the one calling him first, then you’ve got to be a little creative. Look for a very clear reason to do so. Avoid being ambiguous or sounding unsure of what else you’d want to mention before hanging up. Remember you just want to make the first move – plainly, letting him swallow the bait. Be sweet, straightforward and brief. Don’t betray your feelings by appearing like you have all the time to hang on there. Taking all your time with him over the phone will make him think you are easy going and even too available, so to speak. Leave room for him to speculate. Soon he’ll begin to call just to wish you a good night or even to ask you out for another date. Lastly, to keep the game interesting, skip answering some of his calls just to grow his passion and to keep him calling. Soon you’ll have that great date you’ve always desired.

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Alphan is a counselor, author and speaker. He has been involved in dating, marriage and relationship counseling, mentoring, leadership training, traveling and hosting programs for different cultures for over 16 years. Apart from his marriage counselor's hand book, Discover the Honey Beyond published in Nairobi, Kenya, he also writes at http://www.firmfamilytips.com - a blog dedicated for relationships of all ages

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