Over the years I have encountered several men that have expressed an interest and desire in anal sex. Admittedly, I of course don't see the interest. I have read articles that say that it is supposed to be an amazing orgasm for women, but who really wrote those articles? I want to read the reverse side of women that have experienced it and weren't so impressed. There are always two sides to every issue. Where is the devil's advocate that tells the down sides of having anal sex? I can think of one right off the bat, stretching out of the anal muscles that keep a person from defecating on themselves. Another downside would be allowing a man to penetrate you in the most private area and the experience ends badly. Although that isn't my main concern.
Some of the men that have expressed an interested can't get and/or keep an erection. Which leads me to wonder, are those latent homosexual feelings disguised by doing it with a female? There is so much information these days about erectile dysfunction and various products that increase performance in men. There are pills, creams, penis rings, pumps, and positions all designed with the express purpose of getting a man's penis hard enough to make it to the finish line. A man can't get his penis to work for the vagina but magically offered the anus and it works perfectly? This makes no sense at all.
It seems that men always want to have a woman in multiple positions and have is penis in all of her available openings (mouth, vagina and anus) but he isn't open to the same experiences. I know men that freak out when people even joke about going near their anal cavity, yet have no problem encouraging a woman to take it up the ass. I know how unfulfilled I have felt at having a bad vaginal sex and then end up having horrible anal sex too!?! Some experiences cannot be undone. What happened to taking pride in performing well in the bedroom and pleasing your partner as well? Although sometimes a man could have an off day, a bit stressed and the equipment doesn't finish the job. Back in the day, a man would be upset about that. These days, a man is so nonchalant about it. Obviously, the issue must be in the women or maybe he just needs a new sexual thrill to perform. I have only met one woman who admitted out loud that she wanted and enjoyed anal sex. The rest of the women that I spoke to just weren't interested.
Have we become a society so focused on sexual gratification and new experiences that any and everything goes? There are open relationships/marriages, threesomes, swingers and more. In this day of Hepatitis C, herpes, AIDS/HIV and more that can only be controlled but not eradicated with medications do we really need to go buck wild sexually? Years ago, two people started a relationship and were together for a lifetime. Nowadays, relationships are tossed away many times over in the elusive search for something more, something magical, something lasting.
I for one, cannot conceive to being that open in a relationship where I don't know that I will be spending the rest of my life with this person. There are some experiences and memories that cannot be erased. I will freely and proudly admit that I am somewhat a prude, I think my future life and health are well worth it. I am not belittling anyone that is open to those types of activities, far from it. The current and previous trends in erotica books (turned movies) such as Zane and Fifty Shades of Gray, allow a safe outlet for fantasies. Admittedly, I do become aroused by the words flying across the page and the outrageous antics of the characters in the stories. After reading several sections or the whole book, I want to roll over and try some of those things with my partner. I want to reach those amazing orgasms and feel free sexually in and out of the bed. Unfortunately, I just can't turn off the rational part of my brain. I work in a career that I come into contact with men, women and sometimes new-born babies that are now burdened with diseases that cannot be cured. No matter what we may think, we never really know all the sexual secrets of the partners that are currently intimate with. Nor are all diseases transmitted from just traditional sex, but kissing and oral sexual contact as well. During my work, I've encountered people who have gotten yeast infections of the mouth that have spread into teeth with cavities and cause massive problems. Most parents are aware of thrush in babies, which is essentially a yeast infection. However, in adults it goes undetected until medical problems start to arise.
I guess I know too much medical information to ever let the prude out. More power to those who experience those sexual exploits, I will continue to live vicariously through books and movies.
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I am a single woman with an empty nest living in Atlanta. I have a professional career that I thoroughly enjoy. I am reentering the dating pool with a bit of humor and great deal of trepidation.