Does Carpet Bombing Work?
Carpet bombing. It’s a military tactic used to describe the bombing of a large area of enemy held positions. Many birds, one stone, if you will.
According to Urban Dictionary…
| carpet bomb | 92 up, 26 down |
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Texting every girl in your phonebook in a feeble attempt to get laid.
After he got belligerent, Stephan proceeded to carpet bomb until Ursula texted him back and something was set up.
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This term can also be applied to the online dating world. Specifically carpet bombing in this sense refers to individuals who send out a ridiculously large number of messages (the same message) to many people to elicit a response of some sort.
Doing this post is probably a mistake since I'm way too easy to find on the internet and a couple of my last dates have easily found their way to this, here, blog. Yeah. I'm really smart.
I’m not a fan of this strategy.
In fact, I’m completely on the opposite end of that strategy. When I hear of friends employing this I plead with them why they shouldn’t do that; as if I’m trying to save some sort of unspoken brotherhood; some sacred bond. And I feel like I can speak from an area of expertise, since I help a lot of people with their profiles.
Earlier today, I met up with my buddy, DiCarlo.
“Bro. Look. I am a pro at picking up on women, Alex. I go on dates and fuck a lot of bitches, man.” I’m sitting in my chair listening to one of my close friends breakdown why carpet bombing works. He spares no details… “Remember that one bitch?” he says in his broken-stuttered speach. I nod, of course. My dear friend enjoys bringing his conquests to meet me. As if to show me up; to prove me wrong. Well, I can’t say he’s wrong. He’s not.
He’s introduced me to all sorts of women he’s dated. From doctors, to bank tellers, gymnasts and beyond. They’re all weird in some way or other… Anyway, carpet bombing. I’m getting away from our topic!
“Bro, let me re do your dating profile. I know how this shit works!” Now, given that I have a dating blog and kinda help others with their profiles, the notion that my good buddy, DiCarlo, the Poonanny Slayer, wants to school me the topic annoys me. However, I relent and I tell the guy, “Alright, man. I’ll sit here and let you do work.”
Five minutes later the guy was done. I hope this isn’t the same case with the girls he’s bedding down. “Man, I just make sure to take care of myself. The rest? It takes care of itself, bro.” That’s the typical response when I ask him if he’s taking care of both sides of the ‘game’ between the sheets. Sigh.
So, five minutes later… I have one photo up. Just one. Everything’s been rewritten and each section is about three sentences or less. If I read my profile, I wouldn’t message me.
Also, in that five minutes he messaged about 30 women. Each of them with one of two different messages. How did I know? Because my email started getting really active. Not “blowing up” but near close enough. Granted, these messages were not from women I’d ordinarily message. DiCarlo’s sage advice was: “It’s okay, bro. It’s just practice for the girl you do wanna hang out with.” Hrm?
Since making the change, at the time of this writing, I’ve gotten 12 responses from the carpet bombing. Surprising. I am above this tactic, but I cannot deny results. So what does a guy do? You message another twenty women and get 6 more responses…
No doubt, this is a lame way to talk to women because it reinforces shit-headed douche bag behavior on a scale only witnessed in Jersey Shore, or worse. Buuuuut, on the other hand, I'm talking to more than a few women at the present. So the experiment seems to work. But it's like Spiderman. With great power, comes great responsibility.
I've spoken with a number of different women already and have gone out with a couple and had many of the others fall off because of no follow through on my end. Honestly, this is probably not the time to have this happen since my work life is punching me in the face. But it is no less interesting to see how these things pan out.
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