Do You Date Outside Your Race?
It seems like on paper we’ve come a long ways in the past thirty or forty years when it comes to the topic of racism. Today we’re talking about interracial dating. I’ve always been a person to date outside my race and I feel quite comfortable doing it.
I remember being single and looking at online profiles of women and always checking whether they would date someone outside of their race. I would say the odds are pretty split, 50% will or 50% won’t. I honestly think instead of listing what race you’re comfortable with, you should just answer the question “Are you closed-minded?”
Whenever I walk down the street with my fiancé, we always get stared at by people. I don’t know if it’s a look of “Damn how did he get her” or “Damn a mixed couple!.” My brother married a Women of a different race and they also have a kid who always catches the eye of strangers. I’m a little biased, but I do think mixed children are the best looking kids as they take the best features from both parents.
Whenever I’m dating, I’m not looking at a person’s ethnicity, I’m looking for chemistry and a deep emotional connection. I’ve dated women of different races and some relationships worked, while others didn’t. Generally, we’re all the same.. We all want to be happy and be with someone who shares the same values as us. Whose to say a person of a different race can’t have the same values as you or me?
I grew up in an area where I was the only person of colour and I remember getting teased and picked on because I looked different, wore different clothes or had different looking parents. Looking back at that experience I’m proud I didn’t grow up with peers who looked like or talked like me. You know why? Because I learned to adapt to different situations and assimilate into my community. I became comfortable being around people who looked and talked differently than me. Skin colour was a merely a colour and nothing more. I don’t let it define who I am and I don’t wear it on my sleeve like a lot of people do.
I too often see couples such as East Indians just stick amongst themselves and not integrate with the people around them. They live in a bubble and don’t want to get out into the world and meet new people. They love to complain that people are racist or don’t understand them or give them the opportunities they rightfully deserve. My own East Indian friends are guilty of this. I don’t look at the world this way. I think most people are good and it’s just a matter of speaking to people in a way that creates a feeling of mutual respect and not preconceived notions.
My parents have friends who have older kids in their 30′s, none of which are married. Being unmarried in your 30′s and being east indian is uncommon in Indian culture. I asked my Mom why any of them weren’t married yet and she said her parents couldn’t find a match because they couldn’t find someone whose astrological sign was compatible with their kids. This is honestly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Sure, certain people are better suited for certain types of people but I’ve dated women who on paper should be a perfect match for me, but in the end things didn’t work out. The same can be said for my parents, both of whom are on their second marriage.
You’ll be amazed at what having an open mind will do for you’re dating life. Maybe next time you’re on a dating site or at the bookstore, open your mind a bit and you’ll be amazed at who can come into your life.
I used to be terrible with women until I received coaching from several great mentors out there who taught me to unleash my inner alpha male and be the type of man that attracts women and not chases them. My area of expertise is online dating, but I also provide advice on the right types of dates to take women on and provide men with the proper mindset to approach dating.
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