Why Your Beliefs Could Be Ruining Your Dating Life

Are your beliefs causing a rift?

According to Google, the definition of  the word belief is “An acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists” Beliefs are great things to have and we all have them in our lives. Whether they are religious, philosophical or even beliefs that add to our self-concept, beliefs are a crucial mechanism in our lives.

However it is important to keep in mind that not all beliefs are equal or true, for example the belief that putting your hand on a flame for a long time, will inevitably lead you to burn your hand is a belief that is sound and has been proven time and time before. On the other hand the belief that you cannot get a date with a beautiful woman or that you will not be able to attract women, is one that doesn't hold as much ground.

It is very easy to accept beliefs with very little evidence to back them up, at times these beliefs can hold us back because we just accept them as truths despite having very little evidence to support the belief. For example, if you personally believe you cannot get a date with a beautiful woman, what evidence do you have to support that? What have you done to prove that belief is true?

Photo By Miss.Killer
Photo By Miss.Killer

The beliefs I have now are completely different to the beliefs I had 5 years ago when I first started working on improving my dating life. I used to believe I was not attractive, that I couldn’t date beautiful women or that I was not interesting enough. I had thousands of beliefs that told me why I couldn’t get what I wanted and close to know beliefs that told me why I could.

When it came to approaching women at a bars and clubs, I thought women would be mean and would hate that I have approached them. When it came to asking girls for numbers, I believed that women don’t give out their numbers to guys they just met, When it came to talking about topics such as sex, I believed girls don’t like talking about sex when they first meet a guy. That girls don’t just come home with guys they just met. There were literally millions of beliefs or reasons as to why I couldn't or wouldn't be able to do something and all of them were false.

I only started to see success in my dating life when I started testing these limiting beliefs I had. I started approaching women and over time I realized that most girls don’t mind being approached by guys so long as you’re not being sleazy or threatening. I started asking girls for their numbers and I found out that women do give out their numbers so long as they like you. I started talking about sexual topics and I found that women do enjoy talking about sex. I started asking women home and lo and behold, I started bringing women back home with me.

Sure there were some girls who were mean when I approach them, who wouldn't give me their numbers or who didn’t like talking about sex, but there were a lot of girls who would and as I started giving myself the opportunity to prove how credible my limiting beliefs where, I started to realize that the only thing holding me back from having an awesome dating life was me.

If you really want to see improvement in your dating life, one of the best tips I can give you is to focus on the beliefs you have that hold you back from taking action and do exactly that, take action. Make goals that challenge your beliefs, if that means approaching a beautiful woman to talk to her then do it. Make it your mission to prove to yourself whether your beliefs are true or not, you may surprise yourself and you may find that this whole time you have been missing out for no reason.

Author profile

Cristian is a professional dating coach with over 5 years experience. Cristian has helped hundreds of singles from all walks of life improve the success in their dating lives. He is also the owner of the the company simply speed dating which runs Speed dating Sydney

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