If you are tempted to date your EX after multiple attempts of reaching out to you or long apologies, this one is for you. The old cliché ‘try again till you succeed’ doesn’t really fit the relationship with your EX. Ask the people who have done that and they will tell you it’s a waste of your emotions. It’s always exciting to date them again but when the excitement wears off, you are back where you started from. The past is called past for a reason. It shouldn’t be dragged into the future.
Before you make up your mind to jump into a sinking boat, here are some signs that are a clear indication you shouldn’t be dating your Ex again.
- Your BFF doesn’t like him
I know, I know you shouldn’t base your relationships on the approval of your friends or family but sometimes, you have to stop and listen to them. What’s your best friend’s take on your Ex? Does she say he is a jerk? Does she hate him because he made you feel miserable? It’s best if you listen to your BFF’s take on dating your Ex.
- You have started rationalizing all the deal breakers
Did you break up because of certain differences in lifestyle, maybe faith or relationship goals? You must be overlooking those deal breakers now that you want to date him again. Relationship experts say that often when an Ex knocks your door, you start second-guessing yourself. You tend to focus more on the good times and downplay the real problems.
Even if you start dating your ex, over-time, when the clouds of emotions go away, those deal breakers will still be there. It’s best if you don’t go down the same road again.
- Trust was a huge problem
Trust is extremely important for a healthy relationship. If you broke up because your boyfriend was insecure, jealous, he cheated on you or he had trust issues, you shouldn’t be wanting him back. Let’s suppose you do start dating him again, either one of you will end up relying on a spying apps like Xnspy or TrackMyFone to snoop on each other. Trust me, you deserve a relationship that makes you feel secure, not the one that keeps you awake at night.
- You don’t want to put the time and effort to go back to dating
It’s one of the worst reasons to even consider dating your Ex. Why, you ask? Because it just means you are feeling lonely. I understand going back to dating can be tough but reaching out to your Ex to feel good again isn’t really a good option. Spend some time being single. You need it.
- Spending time with him makes you feel miserable
Are you feeling miserable? If yes then chances are you have already started dating him again. Don’t cling onto the good times in the hope that he will change or things will be back to normal. If spending time with him makes you emotionally drained, you are better off without him.
- You are looking for an ego boost
When you are in a relationship, you need comfort by the knowledge that your partner loves you and cares about you. But as soon as you break up, this security net falls apart too. You will feel lonely particularly if you are having a hard time finding the right person to date. The easy way out is to date your Ex and feed your ego.
- You assume that you can fix your relationship problem
When you couldn’t solve the problems when you were together, you cannot solve them now. It’s a fact that you must accept as soon as possible. Let’s say he cheated on you multiple times and you think you can keep a check on him using Xnspy or any other spouse monitoring app, you are wrong. If you couldn’t fix his cheating problem then, you can’t fix it now either. There is no point in giving him another chance if he can’t change.
- You are worried you might never love again
There is plenty of fish in the sea and you will find someone who is better than Ex. Don’t rush, don’t settle for someone who isn’t right for you. This is going to require patience from your end and it is going to be disappointing and even frustrating but you will eventually find someone who truly appreciates you. The wait is worth it.
- You are looking for happiness in your Ex
No, your Ex does not have the key to your happiness. In fact, nobody does. The only person who can make you happy is you. I know you must have heard this multiple times but it’s true. You will feel miserable and it’s totally normal. For emotional support, don’t hesitate to call a friend. Friends are the cheapest therapist, you know.
- You have unresolved issues
Are there any unresolved issues between the two of you? Have you tried addressing them before? If you did, they either weren’t resolved or your boyfriend simply refused to acknowledge them. Whatever the case, if those issues still exist, it is not recommended to get back with your Ex.
Is the second chance really worth it?
Some of you might be thinking to ignore the aforementioned signs and I get it, it can happen if you are going through a roller-coaster of emotions.
The sex might feel good and everything may seem positive but all of this temporary. Once this excitement wears off, you might not want to be with this person. Do me a favor, ask yourself can you really spend the rest of your life with this person? Do you want to be relying on monitoring app or any other piece of technology to be sure your boyfriend isn’t cheating on you again? If you are unsure, it’s pretty clear you end it right away and part ways. You don’t deserve to go through the pain again and neither do they.
You had a good reason or maybe lots of good reasons to let him go. Don’t force him back into your life. The sooner you realize it, the easier it will be to move on. Yes, there are cases where things worked out between two Exes but if the past problems in your relationship are still there, DON’T date your Ex again.